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Keys (wee challenge 34)
I sat with my eyes closed, slowly running my fingers across them, remembering each one and their sound, I played, oh how I played. Andrew Lloyd Webber, Music of the Night, how fitting it was. The keys greeted me like old friends; I remembered all the battles I had fought with them in order to become this acquainted, all the places they had taken me, all the sacrifices I had made to continue playing. This was my life, my whole life, what now, forced retirement? So, I sat, alone in my room, with my piano, playing upon my old friends, my only friends, the only friends I ever wanted. My friends were poor company without an audience. Now, who would I play for?
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Comment by: karjon - 2008-05-19 08:11
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Hi April
A very poignant wee tale and you've conjured up the picture of this lonely man, with his 'only friends', very well'.
This sentence is a wee bit comma heavy:
So, I sat, alone in my room, with my piano, playing upon my old friends,
Maybe:
So I sat, alone in my room with my piano, playing upon my old friends,
or
So I sat alone in my room with my piano, playing upon my old friends,
Depends on where you want the emphasis.
Just a couple of suggestions. Thanks for the read.
Cheers
Karen |
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| Hi, April, what a dreamy feel there is to your piece. I feel the loss and the sadness. I understand the dedication and sacrifice implicit here, altogether a lovely piece of writing. Anna |
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No, he just got old and they wanted to replace him with someone younger at a starting out wage then continue to pay him his larger salary. There was no warning, they just called him into the office one day and told him.
Sorry, I could really add alot to his story I feel so sad for him. It is amazing how sad one can feel for a figmant of one's own imagination. |
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| The sense of loss is profound here. This flash makes me wonder what precipitated the forced retirement. Did the MC play Metallica or wear tie-dye during a musical? |
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| Thanks Vickie. You always leave such wonderfully personal comments by using our names and it is a nice touch. |
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