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Mayzie71
April Maple
United States, Ohio

Words: 123
Access: Public
Comments: 14

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Keys (wee challenge 34)

I sat with my eyes closed, slowly running my fingers across them, remembering each one and their sound, I played, oh how I played. Andrew Lloyd Webber, Music of the Night, how fitting it was. The keys greeted me like old friends; I remembered all the battles I had fought with them in order to become this acquainted, all the places they had taken me, all the sacrifices I had made to continue playing. This was my life, my whole life, what now, forced retirement? So, I sat, alone in my room, with my piano, playing upon my old friends, my only friends, the only friends I ever wanted. My friends were poor company without an audience. Now, who would I play for?

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Comments  
karjon Comment by: karjon - 2008-05-19 08:11
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Hi April

A very poignant wee tale and you've conjured up the picture of this lonely man, with his 'only friends', very well'.

This sentence is a wee bit comma heavy:

So, I sat, alone in my room, with my piano, playing upon my old friends,

Maybe:

So I sat, alone in my room with my piano, playing upon my old friends,

or

So I sat alone in my room with my piano, playing upon my old friends,

Depends on where you want the emphasis.

Just a couple of suggestions. Thanks for the read.

Cheers

Karen
lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-05-10 14:19
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Hi, April, what a dreamy feel there is to your piece. I feel the loss and the sadness. I understand the dedication and sacrifice implicit here, altogether a lovely piece of writing. Anna
Mayzie71 Comment by: Mayzie71 - 2008-05-10 08:12
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No, he just got old and they wanted to replace him with someone younger at a starting out wage then continue to pay him his larger salary. There was no warning, they just called him into the office one day and told him.

Sorry, I could really add alot to his story I feel so sad for him. It is amazing how sad one can feel for a figmant of one's own imagination.
krademacher Comment by: krademacher - 2008-05-09 19:43
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The sense of loss is profound here. This flash makes me wonder what precipitated the forced retirement. Did the MC play Metallica or wear tie-dye during a musical?
Mayzie71 Comment by: Mayzie71 - 2008-05-08 07:32
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Thanks Vickie. You always leave such wonderfully personal comments by using our names and it is a nice touch.
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