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Mayzie71
April Maple
United States, Ohio

Words: 106
Access: Public
Comments: 7

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Keys 2 (wee challenge 34)

"Oooooh shiny, sparkly, listen to them jingle. I want them, gimme, gimme now. They’re mine, almost, almost a little closer, ah, finally, my keys. Mommy will never know, giggles and off we go. Keys, keys, keys, my keys. Shiny, jingly keys just for me, me, me! Here she comes, we better hide! Perfect, an old shoe, she will never look in here."

“Georgie, where have you gone to? There you are, we have to go we'll be late. Where are my keys, they were right here?”

Giggles will never give it away, I have won at last, my keys just for me.

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Comments  
MikeMack Comment by: MikeMack - 2008-05-11 18:09
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Itts a well written funny piece that the reader can basically take what they want from it. Kudos.
rupertdepaula Comment by: rupertdepaula - 2008-05-07 05:36
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i swear the same thing happens with socks.

i couldn't decide if this was a child or a mysterious 'key fairy' (you left this kind of ambiguous – which I actually think is cool) but enjoyed it all the same. definitely a change in mood from you're other entry...variety is the spice of life!
ParchmentPoetry Comment by: ParchmentPoetry - 2008-05-06 14:25
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Love the story. Most of the first paragraph sounds like a child thinking to herself--or even out loud. I'd put it into quotes like you would dialogue. Then on the line: "There you are. We have to go(;) we will be late." would be more correct IMO. I'd also use we'll instead of we will. Sounds more natural. Thanks for sharing. Janet
Mayzie71 Comment by: Mayzie71 - 2008-05-06 08:37
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Everything I have written is so serious and somber, I got this idea and the first one and couldn't decide which I liked better so I wrote them both out. This was actually more difficult to write then the first Keys.
YolandaRenee Comment by: YolandaRenee - 2008-05-05 19:52
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Funny and so true. Those keys so shiny and fun, and now so lost. Good job!
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