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Comment by: MsWizard Online- 2008-05-06 21:27
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Ahhh Johnny....yes most performances are 3 or 5 acts....however, I can only lay so much out on paper yes?
Thank you for your comments my friend.... |
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Comment by: MsWizard Online- 2008-05-06 21:26
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| Thank you Matt....I appreciate such a thorough critique ... |
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most performances are 3 or 5 act events.
or at least will there be a sequel?
good poem.
you've been really poppin off the passionate love
genre ms wizzy...
kiss your muse on the cheek, yes? |
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reuses one of the elements that I know I've mentioned before make your poetry strong:
the series of linked single word lines, gives a nice smooth variance to the tempo. i.e.
Pleading
Begging
Grasping
Needing
and
Satiated
Softly
Divinely
Entwined
also, the first four lines do that in a more complex manner.
The use of acts, that was new and creative.
had to google morpheus, 'greek god of dreams'; well used.
all I could think of was the character in the matrix, that seemed out of place.
cool ending.
great poem |
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Comment by: MsWizard Online- 2008-05-06 07:33
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| Thank you once again Jarfuls....This one seemed to come very naturally to me..... |
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