The place for writers: Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world. Learn how other writers are doing it.
The artist slowly dips his brush in the paint
His masterpiece he starts to taint
With tears in his eyes and pain in his heart
He begins to paint his fresh start
Staring into her eyes of piercing Grey
He dips his brush into the tray
Sharply he brushes and starts to cover
This portrait of his former lover
His body is tired and his soul is as well
Yet he will not stop till this art is in hell
With hate deeper than any love
Out of his loss blooms a dove
He thinks his pain has been defeated
But after a second look once he has been seated
He sees what can not be covered
Once the heart is cleanly severed
Tricked by his own artistic soul
He falls back down into his hole
And all this broken man can do is lay
As he stares into the doves piercing eyes of Grey
Want to comment on this Poetry? Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
some of these rhymes seem forced and a little common for my taste. some are excellent and abstract:
Sharply he brushes and starts to cover
This portrait of his former lover
others, and you're gonna hate me for this, are kinda sucky:
He sits in his chair thinking he may rest
But his broken heart has failed the test
...that does sound a tad like a nursery rhyme. you need to focous more on concepts than full rhymes. half rhymes and syllable matching will keep the pace and form of your work, without the need for (you're gonna hate me again) cliches.
