<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23942736/">This is
old news by now</a> but it reminds me of a pretty amusing story:<br>
<br>
I was about 19 at the time, and living with Sam and Jess. I was in the shower
when I heard Jess let out a scream of "no FUCKING way!!" followed
shortly by her pounding on the bathroom door. "Rinse of, bitch. We've
gotta GO!" Worried that we were either being evicted or about to be
attacked by our junkie neighbors, I jumped out of the shower and got dressed in
record time.<br>
<br>
I stood in the living room, a towel wrapped around my hair. "Dude, what
the fuck?" Jess stood there grinning like the Cheshire cat on E.
"Jordan motherfucking KNIGHT is going to be up at Virgin Megastore in an
hour. We are SO GOING!" Perhaps I should take a moment to tell you, gentle
reader, that we had converted our garage into a bad ass bar and lounge (as any
respectable 19 year old when free from parental contraints) and that bar was
decorated exclusively with New Kids On The Block memorabilia. Ironically, of course.
<br>
<br>
So we fastened on our giant NKOTB buttons and sped down to Virgin. <br>
<br>
The line wrapped around the long block of stores, and was made up of girls who
must have been no more than like six years old when NKOTB was in their prime.
Not ones to wait in line, we snuck in. We'd just made it to a good vantage
point when Jordan descended the stairs. Jess and I, being total asshats,
started screaming "WE LOVE YOU JOEY!" and holding our gold framed
photo of the band high above our heads. <br>
<br>
even though we'd managed to skip the worst part of the line, we were still
growing impatient. Ole eagle eye Jess spotted a possible breach in security; a
small gap and an inattentive guard. She pushed me ahead of her "go dude
GO!" Egged on, I attempted to squeeze past a metal CD rack and weasel my
way into the gap in the line. Just then, the security guard turned around.
'HEY!" I let out a small squeak of the "fuck! I'm busted!"
variety and attempted to a jump turn to dash back out. Sadly, the fabric of my
Pansy Division shirt caught on the metal rack and riiiiiiipped. I gasped (while
still trying to beat a hasty retreat) and attempted to cover the gaping hole in
my shirt. Where was the hole, you ask? Why, right over my goddamn boob, of
course. Maximum humiliation mode, ON!<br>
<br>
I ran over to Jess and grabbed her arm. "Stop laughing goddammit and give
me your jacket!" I pulled the Hangin' Tough tour jacket closed and dragged
the laughing Jess out of the store. We jumped in her beater truck and sped
through the parking lot. You would think that we'd had enough asshole
shennanigans for the day, but you'd be wrong. We rarely got tired of being
assholes. So as we tried to leave, I hung halfway out the truck window, holding
aloft the NKOTB photo. "YEAH mothafuckas! Give it up for JORDAN! Woooooooo!"
On the heels of my triumphant wooohoo-ing, a car pulled in front of us and
proceeded to go like, 3 miles an hour. We were now stuck, and a legion of 14
year olds were staring at me with disgust. <br>
<br>
As is the case with most my friends, nothing was funnier to Jess than my
humiliation. She was laughing so hard she could barely drive us home. What an
asshole.<o:p></o:p></span></p>

Want to comment on this Short Stories? Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...