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Caroline
unreachable heavenly
a high peak
one I can't reach
summit
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It conveys a sense of depressed awe. The combination of these two emotions is actually quite humbling and effective.
I feel that the second line would work better if "unreachable" and "heavenly" were separated by a pause. And I think "cannot" instead of "can't" would add more to the atmosphere.
Writing didactic cinquain makes me feel so lazy... but I want to see if it actually works. I don't really consider it real poetry, but for its brevity and such I'd like someones opinion on this and actually the form in general.
