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Liquid
Mr. Nettleship's shop for the Curious Individual Seeking Alternate Remedies to Ending Misery was closing its doors. No one wanted remedies which rested in green glass bottles, their oily contents soaking into cork stoppers.
Tears of a ten year old boy caught stealing, telling the police how his family was starving.
The placenta of a woman who died wondering why her child was the wrong color.
The sweat from a field hand mingled with the rear odor of a horse.
People could have come to taste a different shame and shudder with terrible awe; realizing their own vice was livable, and leave the shop scoured clean.
Then a competitor sold some blood of the innocent, and it put him out of business.
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Comment by: karjon - 2008-05-19 11:09
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Weirdly wonderful - I thought it was excellent. Great ideas for the contents of the bottles and the ending is brilliant.
Erm, yeah - I think may have liked this one.
Cheers
Karen |
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I agree that this is a unique take on the theme. Well done. I imagine the shop coming into existence in a medieval fantasy setting, and managing to survive until modern times.
Only one question: "slinging their oily contents against cork stoppers." [Is this perpetual motion visual intentional? If so, it doesn't pair well with "rested"] |
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| This is unique and well written. Only thing that made me wonder was the sounds of "...ships' shop." If you get your tongue over your eye teeth, you could get into touble. (Grin). I think--if it were me (which it isn't) I'd drop the ...ship part. Very creative. Janet |
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Comment by: waxseal - 2008-05-08 14:57
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| Thanks all! |
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Comment by: Arley - 2008-05-08 05:48
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This was quite an original piece, and very interesting, Mel.
The placenta of a woman who died, but died wondering why her child was the wrong color.
(I'd lose BUT DIED and go with "who died, wondering why her child was the wrong color.) |
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