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a real attempt at a bio
Johnny Coolhand is a writer of poetry and short stories. He is currently in the midst of an endeavor of a novel. Johnny is also a musician. He is partial to Rock n' Roll, punk, early heavy metal, folk, pschedelic & acoustic blues and avante garde experimental sounds. These influences rise through and eventually show up in his efforts. He currently lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin where he used to live with a cat he found abandoned but gave it up to his little brother because he has a real genuine attachment to it. Mr. Coolhand is to release an EP in the very near future.
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I agree with the suggestions that Pandora has made.
I also think it would sound a little better if you started with "Johnny Coolhand, an author of poetry and short stories, OR Johnny Coolhand, writes poetry and short stories,"
This is a mere suggestion; What do you think? |
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Comment by: PANDORA Online- 2008-05-08 11:56
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I have a real hard time writing my own bio so I can sympathize with you on this one!!
A few suggestions:
Johnny Coolhand, a writer of poetry and short stories, is currently in the midst of a novel.
(THE WORD “endeavor’ just does not fit.)
He is also a musician partial to Rock n’ Roll (IF YOU ARE GOING TO Capitalize “ROCK N ROLL YOU MUST CAPITOLIZE THE OTHER GENERAS), Punk, early Heavy Metal, Folk, (this is the correct spelling “psychedelic”), Acoustic Blues and (CORRECT SPELLING “avant-garde”) experimental sounds.
(“These influences rise through and eventually show up in his efforts.”-THIS IS A FRAGMENT WHICH DOES NOT MAKE SENSE IN REFERENE TO THE REST OF THE BIO.)
(MAYBE, “It is these sounds which strongly influence his writing. “)
The cat needs to be taken out or the end re-written.
Maybe…”Johnny, who used to live with a Kool cat, but gave it to his brother showing his tender side, currently lives in Wisconsin.”
The last sentence…”In addition to writing a novel, Mr. Coolhand will also be releasing an EP. To read some of his work you can visit him at (whatever link you want) http://www.editred.com/johnnycoolhand |
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