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Informal Grae
Graeme Sandford
United Kingdom, HAMPSHIRE, Totton

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Words: 125
Access: Public
Comments: 6

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Keys (Florida Style) - Wee Challenge # 34

At 3.37pm (EST) Hurricane Maisie, heading on a course that would take her fifty miles south of Key West, changed direction.

I approached Seven Mile Bridge on Interstate 1, destination Miami, with No Name Key passing by underneath me, unseen and unseeing, when...

Moving south west, Maisie hit land ten miles north of Marathon, wreaking havoc and mayhem along the Keys.

Travelling at an ungainly 30MPH into the worst of her fury, I little realised the danger building.

The hurricane ploughed a furrow along interstate 1, ripping and tearing with unyielding teeth as it went.

My tormented SUV reared like a bucking bronco, then the waves flung it across the highway, flipped it over the parapet and down to the island below...


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Comments  
karjon Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-05-22 14:04
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Hi Grae

Not sure this works as a stand alone - off to read the sequel before I decide. It's very good, though - great descriptions.

Typo - ploughed.

K.
ParchmentPoetry Comment by: ParchmentPoetry - 2008-05-15 21:02
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Another Florida Keys. Well done. Janet
krademacher Comment by: krademacher Online- 2008-05-11 15:08
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goota love the series take on this. I'm with Tim though, in that I don't think you need this line:


"Maisie hit land at Marathon ten miles to the north, deflecting south west, causing havoc as she went."

to me, it's kind of like getting a sneak peek at a birthday present - while the present is in the process of being unwrapped.

Use the extra word count to wreak havoc.
Arley Comment by: Arley - 2008-05-11 09:41
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Talk about an Uneasy Rider, heh heh. I got here from the other one, and didn't know till I got to the comments that it was the sequel to this one. Good Stuff, Graeme!
Boonrassi Comment by: Boonrassi - 2008-05-10 20:26
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lol.. i scraped my first try at 'Keys'...it was about the fl keys too.
nice job at expressing my stomping grounds, i wonder how much research the tiny details took.

Maisie hit land at Marathon ten miles to the north, deflecting south west(,) causing havoc as she went.

//does that _have_ to be there? im really not sure.


My (tormented) SUV reared like a bucking bronco,

/just a bit flowery, overwritten.
thanks, its a vivid story.
T
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Bookshop

"Myths From The Mists Of Time"

by Graeme Sandford



There was a time when knights travelled the land in search of...

Visit that time again in these five works from the mind of informal grae.

Enter upon a small quest in anticipation of strange adventures to behold.






(All proceeds to charity)

Myths From The Mists Of Time

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By Informal Grae

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