*******************************************

I live two lives and can’t sleep in either.
When I close my eyes
I am snapped like a rubber band
from this reality to another;
both tangible.

I am not given to superstition.
Or different philosophical theories
about the meaning of dreams
However, I am as
aware,
awake,
alert,
when I have entered my other life
and they both have a memory.

Rapidly shifting movements* on the cusp,
I feel the air from my fan
blowing on my naked body.
As I navigate to find a blanket
without moving,
I am warmer from the visible/invisible
cover that provides warmth.

[He is] always there
waiting for me to arrive.
I have ridden his Bronco
down the rollercoaster
enough times to know
he is unstable.
No, mad!
Though I have told him
I do not want him in either sense,
he is ever persistent
yet too far away
for me to tell him twice.
Embodied only on one side.

Naturally,
the one that I love,
does not love me.
My heart breaks with a loud crash
that makes me sit straight up.
I touch the tears that
transcended the channel.
I know not to pursue
the man who will never be my lover
though, he has only told me of his
absence of feeling, in a place
that is not supposed to exist.
I know it to be literal.
By and By
Through and Through.

[I am] broken and damaged on both sides.
Not able to control the
circumstances that unfold
while trying to escape to a third alternative.
Burning the rope that tethers all the yesterdays
to find [the] elusive actuality wherever it may be.

*=[REM]

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