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all this time, and all this rehab
empty-handed
all that is lost, so tragic
and devoid of interest
an absent facade
a high wall
i jumped the gun
and wasted all this time
to remain an envious child
who self-medicates with distance
could i but close my eyes
could i but find a place
but no,
and no
and sinking i forget to care.
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The strongest part of this poem was the last three lines. I would change the construction "could I but" in the lines above. I enjoyed this poem, but I would like to see it expanded with more detailed images.
My interest was the way the whole thing sounded choked, as though said in one long stuttering breath. It's interesting. What really lends itself to that is your use of all lower-cased letters.
