writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
rehingd
Rehingd
United States, NJ, Bridgeton

Words: 318
Access: Public
Comments: 2

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Neighbor Boy

Up in the corner of the second story bedroom, near the ceiling, perched the neighbor boy, a gargoyle. This is not a metaphor.

His head was outsized, his nose wrinkled, skin grayish, ears pointed. He had bat wings. He crouched with shoulders hunched and head dipped low, which could have been the way a gargoyle would sit anywhere, or it could have been because his roost in the corner of their son's bunk-bed was very close to the ceiling. He would not leave.

The mother of the house tried with chocolate. He ate the first handful, but at the second, sprinkled on the carpet, he shook his head, eyes round, looking down, teeth clicking slowly on M&M shells.

The father negotiated: I'm glad you like it here. We like you too. You can come back next Tuesday. After twenty minutes they were at wits end.

The mother grabbed a broom and brushed at him lightly at first. He flinched because the bristles scratched, but he did not come down. She tried to push him with it, but he was eight years old and heavy.

She tapped, then harder. He took flight. His wings were too wide for the doorway, and his attempt to tilt failed. His right wing knocked the door frame loudly and sent him rolling down the stairs onto the wooden floor of the foyer. He sprung up and ran to the kitchen.

Do you think he's hurt, the mother asked.

He was on the breakfast bar now, licking a scrape on his arm. He looked at them. She was carrying the broom, and he was more firm this time: It's time for you to go.

He went outside, walked across their lawn slowly to the street dragging his wings behind. It was dark out. Crickets had begun. They were glad it was warm. He would not catch a chill.

Want to comment on this Flash Fiction?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Flash Fiction and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Comment by: - 2008-05-16 17:37
Add to Readers
      
I love shit like this. I thought it was nice as hell and don't see anything I'd crit. The quotation marks idea is a good one, though.
qpeedore Comment by: qpeedore Online- 2008-05-14 21:58
Add to Readers
      
This is...interesting. But in a good way.

I would use quotation marks for the speech, especially the part where the mother asks if he's hurt.

Some friendly neighbours they are, though. Poor neighbour boy...the gargoyle.
1

Sponsored Ads


Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S