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Interrupted.
Interrupted
Two uniformed men pulled on rubber gauntlets and entered the little room next to the chamber. They went about their preparations quietly.
Jimmy, strapped into the chair, the screaming and pleading and last meal over, stared at nothing.
“Ready, Jimmy?” asked the warden.
“I guess,” he said. The warden left and closed the door. Jimmy shut his eyes and shuddered.
The door opened suddenly and the warden entered, followed by the doctor.
“The governor intervened, Jimmy! New evidence that shows you couldn't...Jimmy?” The doctor felt the man’s pulse.
“Not soon enough, Warden. His heart couldn’t take the strain.”
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Comment by: alcarty - 2008-07-02 08:07
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| I'll help if I can, David. Thanks for reading. |
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Comment by: DavidHe - 2008-07-02 00:45
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| Great. I like the words you have chosen for the story. I hope you can correct and edit a story I have finished, but not have put on Editered. I want to learn from you, Al. Best wishes. |
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Comment by: alcarty - 2008-05-22 09:00
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| Sometimes a little tweaking makes the difference. I appreciate your suggestions, Anna. Thanks. |
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| Hi, Al. Yes, I see the small changes as a big improvement. Maybe it's just me, but I tend to hear 'was' as telling not showing. This is a good story, with a potent message. |
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Comment by: alcarty - 2008-05-20 08:29
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| Appreciate it, Janet. Yes, I finally put the hieroglyphics in working order. I don't know HOW it works, and don't care, as long as it works. |
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