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Recall (wee challege 35)
Samantha sat in the interrogation room eyeing the clock.
“I want my phone call”
“Patience is a virtue, Sam. You don’t mind if I call you Sam, do you?”
Samantha looked at the officer dryly. “You do whatever you want, remember?” She feigned a country accent. “You’re the law.”
“You know, Sam,” the officer snickered, “your boyfriend sold you out, so you might as well tell me what you know.”
Sam couldn’t remember anything about the night of her mother’s murder, but she looked at the officer, curled her lip and said.
“Patience is a virtue, officer.”
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| I watch too much "Law and Order. Makes me visualize the characters, the room, the Captain standing outside the one-way mirror on the wall of the interrogation room. Nice work. Janet |
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| Hi, Ladybug. Ah! Yes. Very good indeed but just one thing, would a policeman snicker? I don’t think so, it sounds more juvenile to me. Maybe it’s just different understandings of a meaning, of course. Anyway, I really liked the story and the symmetry. |
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excellent..
mostly subject verb sentences around snappy dialog.
nice job.
Samantha looked at the officer (dryly)
//directorial adverbs at the end of sentences arent for me.
thats it..
this story displays skill and a knowledge of the tools.
thanks,
( /)
( . . )
c(")(")
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wasn't super-keen on 'snickerd'...reminds me too much of a chocolate bar. it's kind of a half-way-house word, meaning neather one thing or the other.
other than that, tip-top |
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Comment by: Arley Online- 2008-05-14 08:08
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| You don't sass the law, your waiter/waitress (who can spit in your food before you get it), or your mechanic, heh heh. Great read! |
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