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Louise
Louise Davidson
United Kingdom, Belfast

Words: 100
Access: Public
Comments: 12

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Interrupted

It was my sister who originally interrupted *MY* de-flowering. She was unprepared for the crumpled, sweating sight that greeted her and had run to our parents. I was determined to repay the favour.

After the arrival of her first boyfriend, I would stand outside her room, waiting for the slightest allowance to rumble any seduction but to no avail.

Eventually, one day, passing by the laundry room, I heard it. The unmistakable moans and creaks of love. I had her!
Bursting through the doorway, jubilation on my lips, I stared:

“Sorry Mum! Sorry Dad!”

I got a life after that.

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Comments  
Gerard Comment by: Gerard - 2008-06-11 14:03
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Yes made me chuckle too. Well done with this. I'd leave out the last line though. The sorry mum sorry dad would be a better ending.
Gerard Comment by: Gerard - 2008-06-11 14:03
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Yes made me chuckle too. Well done with this. I'd leave out the last line though. The sorry mum sorry dad would be a better ending.
xemoxangelx Comment by: xemoxangelx - 2008-05-21 10:13
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lmao this made me chuckle
ParchmentPoetry Comment by: ParchmentPoetry - 2008-05-20 08:35
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After reading the comments, I re-read the story. Then I laughed. It took me a while, but I got it. I'm a bit slow. Guess it's been too long. Very clever ending. Nice work. If that was my kid, I'm not sure what I'd do to her. LOL Janet
lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-05-18 13:38
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Ha, Louise, you made me laugh out loud. Small crits, you could drop the 'I was' and 'she was' that start the first two sentences and make minor changes to accomodate that, get a few extra words too, I think. Anyway, this is very good, so true to life, and I love that last line. Well done.
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