(Mikey sits with ‘father’ Peter in confession booth)

Mikey: Forgive me father for I have sinned.

Peter: No shit, care for a swig? (offers Mikey a bottle of bourbon through the door)

Mikey: No thanks, I slept off my last hangover during mass.

Peter: (shrugs) You still paid more attention than anyone in my flock. So what’s the problem today?

Mikey: Oh the usual, parents bugging me, boss hassling me, there’s someone in my trunk.

Peter: How’d he get in there?

Mikey: Climbed in to take a nap, didn’t know he was there, what the hell do you think? I put him in there.

Peter: Well it is possible. Last time I was in a trunk it was quite comfortable.

Mikey: Really, what kind of car was it?

Peter: A Prius.

Mikey: The hybrid?

Peter: Yeah, very nice, cheap too.

Mikey: I’ll be damned.

Peter: Where’s Jimmy?

Mikey: He’s the one in my trunk.

Peter: Really? Shame, I liked his mom, woman made nice pasta.

Mikey: It was Ragu.

Peter: No shit?

Mikey: No shit. Let’s get outta here, I’m getting claustrophobia again.

Peter: Meet me outside, I got some business…

(10 minutes later)
Peter: (pulling off gloves) Ok, let’s go.

Mikey: I think I left my coat in the sin box, can I go back?

Peter: Yeah…that ain’t gonna happen.

Mikey: What?

Peter: You know Jimmy Salvatori?

Mikey: Yeah, what about him?

Peter: Let’s just say he’s confessing somewhere else right now, and that box is going with him.

Mikey: Don’t tell me you torched my coat.

Peter: I’ll buy you a new one out of the collection plate, don’t worry.

(they head off down the street)

Peter: So what’s up with you and Jimmy?

Mikey: Caught him sneaking around in my house.

Peter: In you house?

Mikey: Yeah, in my sister’s room.

Peter: Damn, think he has it in for you?

Mikey: I don’t know, I guess so, he seemed like such a nice guy.

Peter: So did Sammy Bronco.

Mikey: Yeah I saw what you did to him, that was fucked up, closed casket and everything.

Peter: How far away did you park?

Mikey: Docks.

Peter: The docks? That’s like a mile away!

Mikey: As apposed to the front of a crowded church? It’s bad enough you’re burning believers on the weekdays…

(20 minutes later)

Mikey: How you doing Jimmy? (bangs on top of car trunk)

Jimmy: Let me out of here, Mikey. You don’t know what you’re doing!

Peter: Boy, he sounds pissed. (rests arm on trunk)

Jimmy: Is that Petey? Peter, let me out of here or I’ll fucking kill you.

Mikey: With what? (Hits trunk again, four shots ring out, making holes in the roof. Peter’s pinky disappears. Peter grabs his hand)

Peter: Oww! Oww! Oww! Jesus, you said you took his gun!

Mikey: Well I did, he must have another.

Peter: Well my missing pinky is not amused! Help me find it.

Jimmy: Let me out, Peter! I won’t hurt you.

Peter: You just blew off my favorite finger, and you expect me to let you out?

Jimmy: oh…sorry.

Mikey: Here it is. (Tosses Peter his pinky. Peter sets it on the trunk)

Peter: Thanks, now help me kill this prick.

Mikey: I ain’t going near that trunk, pinky boy.

Peter: Then let’s push him in the river.

Mikey: But that’s a new car! (Peter pushes car in neutral and heads back around)

Jimmy: Look I really didn’t do anything!

Mikey: Then why were you in my house?

Jimmy: I’m with your sister.

Mikey: Bull.

Jimmy: Call her up then!

(Mikey takes out his phone)

Mikey: You better not be bull shitting us

Mikey: Hey Sandy, it’s Mike. Yeah, look I don’t care…put it in a new container and sprinkle it with garlic…yeah it’ll retain its flavor!

Peter: What are you a chef?

Jimmy: There something we should know about you, Mikey?

Mikey: Quiet, look Sandy, are you going out with Jimmy?....uh huh…really?...really?...you know you can do a lot better.

Jimmy: Hey!

Mikey: All right…all right….talk to you later.

(Mikey hangs up)

Peter: Well?

Mikey: He’s telling the truth, get him outta the car.

Peter: Uh…where is the car?

Mikey: Oh come on!

(Mikey and Peter take off after the rolling car, which is heading for the edge of the docks. It lands in the river with a loud splash)

Mikey: Damn it that was a nice car.

Peter: I left my pinky on the trunk.

Mikey: What?

Peter: I lost my pinky.

Mikey: Well...that's a bitch...

THE END

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