writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
Jorbian
J. D. Boller
United States, Arizona, Prescott

Words: 42
Access: Public
Comments: 2

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Love

Love
my love
love is vain
my love is vain
love I love in pain
my love is so pointless
love love through a port calis
my love is not better then that
love love vain love is all I have here

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Argento Comment by: Argento - 2008-06-05 17:47
Add to Readers
      
Nice structure. When I first read it I knew that there was something to each line, but I did not perfectly realize then. On my second reading the poem was much more enriching and understandable. Great job.
Jorbian Comment by: Jorbian - 2008-05-13 17:08
Add to Readers
      
As with 'Stand', I was experimenting with trying to use the nonet in inverted form to give a sense of growth in the the idea. Again, I used the repetition, a more complicated repetition to show a sense of the begining of the lines. My question, did I make you notice the number of syllables? That is my main concern.
1

Sponsored Ads


By Jorbian

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S