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Love
my love
love is vain
my love is vain
love I love in pain
my love is so pointless
love love through a port calis
my love is not better then that
love love vain love is all I have here
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Nice structure. When I first read it I knew that there was something to each line, but I did not perfectly realize then. On my second reading the poem was much more enriching and understandable. Great job.
As with 'Stand', I was experimenting with trying to use the nonet in inverted form to give a sense of growth in the the idea. Again, I used the repetition, a more complicated repetition to show a sense of the begining of the lines. My question, did I make you notice the number of syllables? That is my main concern.
