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wgallant
Wayne Gallant
United States, FL, Morriston

Words: 147
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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People Like the Sky

"What color is the sky?", I asked.
"Blue" the child replied.

"That's right" I said.
That's right... sometimes.

This morning I looked into the eastern sky
as Sol arose from his cold Atlantic bed.
The gray predawn was pushed westward
and yellow gold became the sky's primary color.

The sky on cloudy days is gray
And on a rainy night is black,
On a clear night, strewn with diamonds.

Standing on the sacred mountain
I watched the sun descend into the west
As the sky was filled with red
And the clouds became purple.

We see the sky dressed in many colors
And we accept and love them all.

The sky, from whence sun and rain
Fall upon the earth,
Giving life to every plant and creature.

Can we learn to accept and love
People like the sky?

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Comments  
phillmag Comment by: phillmag Online- 2008-08-08 05:18
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This works very well. No crits.
DavidHe Comment by: DavidHe - 2008-06-29 01:29
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Masterly written. I like it very much. Best wishes.
wgallant Comment by: wgallant - 2008-05-15 03:40
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Ah, but there is structure. Notice the similarity of the third and fifth stanza, also the fourth and seventh.

Just because it doesn't follow the expected norms doesn't mean that it is lacking in archetectural quality. I actually did put some thouight into this.

I've seen similar construction in the words of Robert Frost and James Taylor.
akabinny Comment by: akabinny - 2008-05-14 08:22
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This is a really great idea. The motif is fabulous. Title, likewise, great. My concern lies in that the stanzas are very disconnected. There is not one clear pattern of writing between them, does that make sense?

I think that if the peice followed a similar and linking scheme, it would be more potent, and your point would hit harder.

Good work.
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By wgallant

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