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xemoxangelx
Emily Barker
United Kingdom, Essex

Words: 618
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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Locked away

The Christmas drizzle continued to fall ruining her iron strait hair and dripping down her face beginning to wash away one of her many layers of makeup, just another typical Christmas she thought no snow just rain just what Britain needs for Christmas cheer she thought sarcastically. She pulled up her hood and forced her self forward through the drizzle trying to protect herself from it. As she walked she thumbed through her pocket until she found her cigarettes and lighter; she lit up and breathed in deeply waiting a few seconds before exhaling.

This was not the first Christmas she had spent like this in fact this happened nearly every year, she was sick of it. Why couldn’t she spend Christmas at home with a large family filling herself with all the Christmas food like everyone else was at this moment? She didn’t have a large family like all the others that was why, she didn’t even really have any family except for her brother, he was the reason she was walking in the now pouring rain.

She wore a large black parker coat which she hid behind like the layers of makeup she wore as if by wearing them she could hide away, hide away from all the staring eyes that looked down on her for how she was; how her family was. It wasn’t her fault its not as if she could help it. She now used her coat to shield herself from the oncoming rain it was really coming down heavy now.

It took her half hour to reach her destination, gloomy grey gates stretched before her as almost threatening her to leave, she was used to them by now they did not scare her like they used to and anyway there was much worse inside. She was let in by the prison guards and after handing all her possessions at the gate she was at last allowed into the visitors room.

Her brother sat head sunk at a table at the far right of the room, he did not look up as she entered by continued to mutter to himself, the past years in this place had started to drive him crazy and she hated to see him this way despite what he had done she loved him and knew that he had only done it to protect her. He looked at her now as she sat down his eyes almost pleading with her to get him out of this place. Tears began to well up in her eyes to see him like that.

He had spent 7 long years in this place yet he had not even served half his sentence yet. He had been put away for murder, murder of the worst kind, murder of a family member. Love had not protected them from his anger but he had been provoked and knowing what he was like she could not help but blame them for being so stupid, stupid enough to cause their own death.

He was sick, they knew that so why did they have to anger him so, they knew what would happen, they knew the consequences. Yet they taunted him for being like he was, they made his life worse than it already was and it sickens me to say these people were his family; the ones he loved most and they treated him like dirt. So he struck out and made them pay, he didn’t intentionally kill them he was just so angry he couldn’t help what he did. It was a terrible horrible accident but they were killed. Now he is locked away and will be for many years to come.

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Comments  
nad04 Comment by: nad04 - 2008-05-16 05:09
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good descriptions and nice concept. But you may want to pay a little more attention to your punctuation..but good stuff !!
Comment by: - 2008-05-15 15:38
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The thing I really like about this was the attention you pay to little, mundane details, especially early on. I think it's a decent way to establish some sort of feel in such a short story. The emotion you seem to be gunning for is there. Some of the punctuation did bother me. You just don't really do it all the time here. But that's me. Also, and it might be that you are trying to let imaginations run a little wild, but there is this sort of confusion and shapelessness in what has gone on and what is hinted at in the last paragraphs. I don't know that that makes it a poorer piece or anything, but it really does show.
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By xemoxangelx

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