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the salesman
All my life
I've protected myself
armed well
in my emotional Kevlar ...
I've held myself in
never showing my fear
my joys
my pain
my tears ...
The many years
of being kicked around
used
abused
and tossed away
like a worn out dishrag
had taken their toll
on my battered soul
leaving me
buried
in tarnished self worth ...
… solitary …
… and lonely …
And then you came
merrily tripping along
with the cheap speak
quick moving patter
of a tawdry and
shady used car sales man
talking to me
of beauty and
showing me the
plastic crystalline
colors of love as you saw it
with such sincerity
surrounding me
in haloed elevator muzak
and wrapping me
in the false
warm glow …
… of contentment …
You patiently
and deliberately
neutralized
my senses
broke down
my defenses
freeing me at last …
from my emotional
solitary
confinement …
And I
ever the fool
opened my heart
as I handed to you
my well hoarded trust
like a precious jeweled offering
on a silver platter
garnished with
tenderized tidbits
of my love
and essence ...
Slicing open my
emotional veins
whispering to you
my secrets
my dreams
my many sorrows
sharing all my deep rooted
pains
I bled myself out
as you seared me
to the bone
with your shifty eyed look
your insincere smile
your manufactured
understanding
loaded up
like a pre-paid
credit card with your
store bought sympathies
as you tortuously
cut me off
shut me down
with your canned excuses
once again ...
leaving me alone ...
Ha!
Some sales man you are
shattering the broken heart
you so badly repaired
with the verbal Elmer's glue
you used
to put the pieces
back together …
As I watched you
Blithely
moving on
to a new sale
a new score
never once!
looking back at
the havoc you wreaked
I fell to the floor
silently crying
dying
withering away
after being torn apart
once again ...
So here I am
once again trapped
and buried in
tarnished self worth
and ashen dreams
destined once again
it seems
to be eternally ....
... solitary ...
… and lonely …
That was one sale
that held
no bargains ...
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Comment by: MsWizard Online- 2008-06-08 11:03
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| Thank you...I hope to find it and keep it.... |
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| You'll find it -- It's beautiful! |
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Comment by: MsWizard Online- 2008-05-16 08:56
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Yes Broken, I would agree that all women have been there done that at least a few times in life...yet amazingly enough no matter how damaged our trust can get through these experiences, we always manage to come up with just enough to have it trampled on once again....
I'm very glad you enjoyed this one~ |
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| I enjoyed this. There is a cynical tone that rings true to life. Expresses the hurt and anger felt after finally allowing oneself to trust again, only to fall prey to yet another shady seducer, a man who preys on women's hearts to gain the bedsport that is his only real goal. After the "conquest" the challenge is gone and he moves on to the next challenge. Well written and heartfelt I'm sure. I think every woman has been there at least a few times; some more than others, unfortunately. Reminds me a bit of something I once wrote, but you've done it so much better. We all want to believe in love, but pay the price when we put our trust in the wrong person. Later, we ask ourselves--why didn't I see that before? |
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| cool feeling of cylical nature, ending where it begins. |
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