I love days like today. I love being here. On days like this I am in love with Life and the whole World. Bright sunshine, and crisp cool air. A spring in my step, despite my age! Haha! A beautiful landscape, and it doesn’t get better than this. On days like this one, with all its petty troubles, I look around. These trees were here before me and they will still be here after I am dust and ash.

Damn, damn, damn the Americans. They always do this. Hover like fucking vultures around the cliff edge, only move on when they think they have a soft target. It won’t be the first time. We were getting on so well till they stuck their oar in. Now we are facing a certain takeover of our company. Well I will object to the last breath in my body. I don’t care. Even my closest colleagues, not the sycophants, have hinted that we might get a good deal by selling out. How could they be so disloyal after everything we’ve been through together. We have given our lives and reputations to build up our brand name.

I get so tired these days, how I long for peace of mind. It’s not easy. Everyone thinks it is, that all I have to do is snap my fingers and everything gets sorted. Bastards. They call me a control freak? How so? I can’t stand hearing about small beer, let alone being asked for an opinion. I know how to run the big picture, but can I trust them to get on with running the show? Never! I tell them. They say ‘Jesus wept’. I tell them straight, stop bringing me problems, start bringing me solutions!! I’m pissing in the wind, and frankly my trousers are getting wet.

All I have ever given them is loyalty, and brought on their careers. And how have they rewarded me? Weakness. Even now I know some of them are doing secret deals with the American interests to see if they can carve out a niche after the takeover. Don’t think I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. They say I am afraid to step down. Afraid, ha! I spit in their faces. If ever I had a failing it was not being ruthless. I have discovered that too late now.

I know I have to maintain a serious face for media purposes, but on the inside I am so gleeful. I hear the ripple of the stream, laughing, bubbling as it bounces over the boulders. I have to contain my laughter, but really these hillsides have become my best audience. On the inside I am still a child. Now, I may be the loneliest man in the world, but here I get to know what it is to walk with the Gods. I walk with the innocence of a lamb, and feel the protection of the Ancients.

Fuckers! Pardon me, I do so hate swearing. Even when I was in the Army filthy mouths offended me. Oh I know they laughed behind my back, but what use were they? Go for the soft option. That’s their motto. We shall see.

Do you know what? How much I long to retire and move down here for good, I do love it so down here, it’s so tranquil, and yet I know I have to go back to the big city to the greyness of HQ, and sort out the mess that others have created. Jesus said ‘Whoever shall be Master shall be servant of all’’ Even if others don’t understand me, at least I know that Jesus does. My Redeemer liveth! haha.

You are right. What need have I for luxury? All those fat swaggering bastards, puffing on their decadent cigars and throwing wine and burnt flesh down their fat throats. What do they know of culture? And that’s our own people, not the Americans! Hahaha!

I am a lover of beauty, and music and art and the natural peace of the wild world. I appreciate great architecture. Do you know some of those disloyal shits have even suggested that I might be a bit on the lavender side as the English say? Me! What do they know! I am a lover ‘non-pareil’. Damn the French, hahaha! How I love them so much, and yet everyone thinks I dislike them so. Well as Louis XV remarked “Apres moi, le deluge”’

Ahah! We have reached the tea-garden. Time for a brew. Damn the English too, hahah! Time to put our feet up for a while, I think.

I do so enjoy our talks and walks together. ‘Jah, mein Herr’, ‘Danken Mein Fuehrer’.

With that, Adolphus Schicklgruber and Adolf Hitler draped their arms over each other’s shoulders like old friends, and entered the Mooslahnerkopf Teehaus.

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