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Sea of Love
I luv ever'body
Ain't nobody don't luv me
I been swimmin' in a ocean o' luv
Paddlin' cross this sea.
I done swum all night an' swum all day
Swimmin' in the light an' the dark
Somethin' just brush up 'gainst me leg
Hopin' dat it ain't no shark.
I gonna keep swimmin' to the other side
Ain't gone let no ocean beat me
An' I come out smilin' on the risin' tide
If that big luv shark don't eat me.
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I don't usually comment on poetry cause I don't understand most of it, and when I do I don't have anything useful to say beyond “I like it”.
Anyway, you forced an exception. I'm impressed by the clarity of this piece, I love the language, I can 'hear' it, and understand it, too. I love the metaphor of the swimming in the sea, and you have this idea perfectly encapsulated here.
'An' I come out smilin' on the risin' tide' is a fantastic, visual, choc-full of meaning line.
Well done. Oh! I guess I just said, “I like it” again. lol |
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Comment by: DavidHe - 2008-05-16 18:14
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| A very very good poem! It has put me thinking a lot. Yes, every one is swimming in a sea of love, but no one want to read the shore! When one stands on the shore, one will be able to see more of love! Well done! |
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Comment by: Jorbian - 2008-05-15 19:34
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| It is not often that regionalism is revived in literature. I like it alot. I like hearing the vernacular in print. Good job. |
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Somnius (may I call you Som?), Aw, twarn't nuthin, glad U liked it.
And you're one prolific guy. I'll dive into some more soon. |
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Comment by: Somnius - 2008-05-15 16:49
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| You're one creative guy. I like how you just did this how you would please. But I love how it worked. Man, that's good stuff. It was tied together and explanatory, and, everything. |
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