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nad04
Nadine D'souza
India, Maharashtra, Mumbai

Words: 601
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Stairway to Heaven

And the angels with their shining golden trumpets heralded the presence of one mere mortal, albeit a mortal no more. The skies thundered in applause and the saints sang their song of welcome as He stood with His hands on His hips, His robes flowing and His eyes burning bright with everlasting nirvana. The mortal was summoned past the musical cherubs and into the glowing aura of the towering One.

Ah..the afterlife!..thought the mortal, his heart brimming with the anticipation of the much-promised and long awaited joys associated with the passing into the heavenly unknown. This was the destination, the journey had finally ended. Soon he would be face-to-face with his Maker. This was the homecoming. He had travelled long and hard, he had ridden the roughest seas, weathered and worn he was finally here. Lately his life had been driven by the single motive of reaching the end. He had begun to console himself with the thought that one day it would all be over and he would find everlasting peace. He would soothe himself through all his tribulations by telling himself that this was all transient. Minor obstacles in the path to paradise. And now his reward was due. A time to sow, a time to reap. It was harvest time!

Suddenly he realised he was still climbing the pearly white stairway. He became aware of the strain of gravity pulling at his calf muscles as he climbed one step after the other. He looked up at the delicately spiralling staircase. Only one more flight to go. His breathing was becoming increasingly laboured. His limbs were tense under the pressure being imposed on them. This is odd, he thought. Heaven knew no pain. He had left all that behind...

He felt a warmth unlike he had ever felt before. It was as if a blanket of energy had wrapped itself around him. Pristine white light filled his vision. He couldn’t see a face. He couldn’t make out a form. But he knew...he knew was in the presence of divinity. The last thing he remembered was a soft, tender sensation on his forehead, as if he had been kissed by a shooting star...the trace of it still remaining long after it had disappeared into nothingness.

The morning brought with it a dull aching feeling. He wondered if he had had another drunken night wherein he had blacked out again. They were becoming quite common these days. It was the only anaesthesia he knew. He rubbed at the slight burning sensation on his forehead. The events of the night before came rushing back like a montage being played before him.

The Divine Force had asked him only one question. “How deep is your desire to be here?” The mortal’s eyes filled with tears and his heart pumped with emotion. How could he possibly explain in words how much he longed to be here? It was this desire that had kept him going. It was this desire that had kept him alive for so long. It was this desire that had led him to wash down a handful of sleeping pills with a swig of vodka. Just to be here...only to be here.

As if on cue the music stopped as the angels and saints stood in muted serenity. The Divine Force had been given an appropriate response. His question had been answered.

The mortal, now very much a mortal again, looked at the blank walls of the hospital he was in. The immaculate white walls, a metaphor to his new lease on life.

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Comments  
xemoxangelx Comment by: xemoxangelx - 2008-05-30 11:04
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nice representation of heaven, i don't know whether you intended it to be so but it shows how religion gives people that hope which helps them get through life and how important that hope is to them. well done x
nad04 Comment by: nad04 - 2008-05-18 23:25
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have taken off the last para ! and yes, it does read better now !! thanks :)
dlefnies99 Comment by: dlefnies99 - 2008-05-18 20:44
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I really appreciate the fact that this story begins with the word "and" - for whatever reason, I'm really fond of "ands" - it clues us in to the fact that we're joining something "already in progress", it gives us a sense of motion and perhaps even urgency, right from the start.

I also liked the warmth that He feels in paragraph four. For just a brief second I thought, "Oh no!" but I quickly realized He would be okay.

I have to agree with the above poster, though. I think the final paragraph is unnecessary; you've already "said" that through the rest of the story and it is a little anti-climactic to spell everything out for the reader. I'm a big fan of ambiguity. As far as a focusing statement goes, though, it's great: you definitely brought that message across through the piece.
nad04 Comment by: nad04 - 2008-05-17 00:22
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hey..thanks a lot..and, i do agree abt the last line being a bit cliche..but thanks for your feedback !
altoid21 Comment by: altoid21 - 2008-05-16 11:42
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This is great! Im not big on the last line but other than that the creativity and message are just amazing!!
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