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I Am..
I am an expression
Significant and unspoken
I am an idea
Sudden and bright
I am a prayer
Peaceful yet fervent
I am a debate
Challenging fate
I am a child
Curious, yet shy
I am a moment
Gone in a blink of an eye
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| i really liked this, its very crisp and does not wander from the point and as someones already mentioned the use of opposites is really good. |
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Comment by: nad04 - 2008-05-18 23:22
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honestly, i never meant it to follow a pattern of opposites...i was just putting down thoughts. Thanks for your observation though! What I meant by 'debate' was that, there is a constant silent argument taking place between man and his fate..coz as much as he knows that his destiny is written, he still wishes he could change a few things or maybe he is not happy with his fate...this was the general idea behind it.
But thanks so much for your attention to detail. It is very helpful ! :) |
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I really like the tight, punchy construction of this piece. My favorite line is the one describing a prayer - "peaceful yet fervent".
I have questions about the "debate" line. In each of the other lines (except the last), the "I am" is explained by a set of seemingly opposite pairs. Is there a way you could rework "challenging fate" to fit that kind of framework? There may be a significance to that phrase that I'm not getting - if so, apologies! |
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