The place for writers: Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world. Learn how other writers are doing it.
Room slants light
cutting through the musky air
a sharp line beckoning the day
that waits outside
full of promise
laughter
a children's playground
beyond the window pane.
I sit in my prism
savouring the quietness
this sanctuary brings
knowing I'm looked for
but sit undisturbed.
The gramophone gleams.
It stand on rickety legs
with an open lid
inviting
wishing to be played
but I ignore its plea
and sit in our parlour
on a summer's day.
Albums peak up at me
The Ramones
The Four Tops
Elvis Presley
an eclectic mix
of all my families taste
but none of my own.
I listen to whatever's played.
I sit quiety contemplating
the empty room.
The noise of the house has disppeared.
A slant of light reveals
the dust that dwells
on our gleaming gramophone.
Want to comment on this Poetry? Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Unusual, atmospheric, haunting. The mood created in the first two sections is fantastic. You lose me a little bit when you start talking about the music, perhaps because that is where the powerful descriptions end, and a simpler voice takes over.
I'd say you captured just about everything about this experience... the visuals, the sounds, your own thought process and feelings. Definately relatable and realistic. Nice job.
