Bright Lights in California
Bright Lights in California,
Shining over my car.
Streetlamps and burning buildings,
I heard they shot the Tsar.
Some show girls,
Dressed up real nice and fine.
Lots come from bars,
And drunks toeing the line.
Bright Lights in California,
Better than most.
Neon signs and torches,
But what’s there to boast?
Pigs turning in firepits,
Sights completed by scent.
Even campfires in the woods,
With secret fingers in the tent.
Bright Lights in California,
Proud for reasons right and wrong.
Christmas lights and advertisements,
Everyone’s got their own song.
But far more than I should see,
They come from houses and homes,
People together for dinner,
Sitting round the TV.
Bright Lights in California,
Some from your hands,
Glowworms and kids with flashlights,
I’ve been to those sands.
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Comment by: Juan2 Online- 2008-07-01 12:19
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Really, really like this. Deals with the whole 'image' of California - bright lights is perfect, like everything is wonderful. What sets this apart from other works that might do this is that you approached with an open mind to both sides. A lot of times re: California, it's either cynical 'not all it's cracked up to be' or a totally romanticized version that doesn't exist, but from this i get some of both, all the stories aren't true, but some of what is makes it great as anywhere else...
First stanza really drew me in. That rhyme with 'car' and 'tzar' for me made non-sensical sense - if that even makes sense :) It's like a random line you hear on the radio, or from a car in the next lane cruising with it's top down. Some busy snippet you hear anytime you drive around in California.
2nd stanza's great, too. Image is good, rhyme adds a little naivity, tho essentially you're calling the pretty girls hookers with 'show girls' so you're no fool.
3rd stanza's questioning is part cynical - but then you follow with probably my favorite rhyming in the 4th stanza. The tent image can be taken as loving or creepy - and it happens everywhere, including ('or not just in', depending on your viewpoint) California. The same dichotomy is present in the next stanza with 'right and wrong' - then cynical again with the last line there.
6th stanza's all about the American ideal image of an evening with the family, and it ends with perhaps your own personal ideal image in the last stanza, and California's got some magic sure (glowworm light caught in kids' hands) but so does everywhere else.
That's what I got, at least. Like I said, really enjoyed this. Hit a nerve, I guess. Well done.
happy writings. |
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