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ALIEN CHALLENGE #16 - Pantoum - COLORED SLENDER STICKS
Slender Colored Sticks
©2008, Janet K. Poludniak
She studied the beautifully colored slender sticks
which looked like candles, but they had no wicks.
She thought her childish mind was playing tricks.
Over and over she pulled one from the box.
Though much like candles, she could find no wicks.
Colors are great, but what could these be for?
She pulled another from its cardboard box
and took a piece of paper from the shelf.
Could she discover what these sticks were for?
She placed the piece of paper on the floor--
the piece of paper taken from the shelf--
and made a mark with green as clear as day.
The paper she had placed upon the floor,
no longer white, it bore her colored mark,
that mark was just as green-clear as day;
these must be sticks to color with and play.
No longer white; it bore that colored mark.
followed by a second, third and more....
Wonderful sticks to color with and play;
what beautiful pictures one could make with these!
"I will add more colors ten or more...
with beautiful wickless candles from my box.
I'll make a lovely picture now with these
I've taken from this green and yellow box."
Holding her wickless candles from the box,
she counted sixty-four--no two alike--
she'd taken from the green and yellow box.
Her face lit up and clearly showed delight.
"Sixty-four to choose, no two alike!
So many colors; where should I begin?"
Her face aglow with absolute delight,
certain that "Crayola" was the best
she marveled at the slender colored sticks.
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| Thanks, Grae. According to the instructions on the web site, rhyming isn't that important. The repetition creates the rhyme scheme. I know it's long, but I haven't had time to reconstruct it. Hope to do that soon. Thanks for stopping by. Janet |
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Ah, to hell with format and rhyme, this is lovely as a freestanding piece in its own right. But I do agree that these pieces can run away with you in length (that was my problem with the Terza Rima). Loved the partial repeats and the alternatives, enjoyed this read and its vivid content.
Thanks, Janet - Grae:) |
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| I never had one, but my kids went through a bunch of them. They loved to sharpen the crayons, but it wasted them faster--thus replacements were way too frequent with the odd colors being left over laying in a shoebox. Thanks for commenting. I want to revise it, but can't do it right now. Janet |
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This form of poetry is waaaay to difficult for me, sorry-but I have to tell you that this was a bit long but I liked the subject matter.
That was my favorite box of crayolas too, having the crayon sharpener in the back and silver and gold crayons. |
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| Thanks for your comment, Mitch. From what I read at the link Cheryl provided, a Pantoum has NO rhyme scheme. It's odd how the first stanza rhymed anyway. I tried not to since it isn't supposed to matter. If rhyming is expected, they the instructions should have clarified that from the onset, but the link did say it wasn't a requirement. Janet |
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