Linda returned from the comfort room with a martini and a menu. She got her bag off her shoulder and put everything on the table. “Uh, my shoes are killing me,” she said loudly, struggling with the noise inside the restaurant.

“So? Is it positive?” Joel asked, with his feet restless at the base of the table.

“I just took the test, dimwit. Can’t you wait?” she uttered, removing her high heels.

He drummed his fingers. “How long will it take?”

She took a sip on her drink. “I don’t know. Three days, four weeks,” she chuckled, “just chill, okay? It’ll be ready in a while. And get your feet off the table, you’ll spill my drink.” She read the menu.

“Let me see.”

“I’ll show it to you when it has something to show.”

He sighed. “Sorry, I just—I just can’t wait to know if I’m gonna be a father now. I’m just too excited.”

“Relax, don’t worry. If I’m not pregnant, we can always do it again. But I have to charge you extra,” she said with a wink, and then she called a waiter.

“My wife wouldn’t be able to handle that anymore. She’ll go crazy if she finds out that you’re not pregnant. You have no idea how bad she wants to have a baby.”

“Of course, I have an idea. I knew right away how desperate she was the second she called me.” She drank from the half-empty glass again.

“Yes, she is desperate. Actually, we both are. If we don’t get a baby soon, our marriage will be over.”

“Calm yourself down, we don’t know anything yet. And besides, I’m quite sure we did it right.”

“Talking about, you know, it, was I—was I any good?” he said in a lowered voice, leaning forward.

“You were great, actually,” she ran her finger up and down the stem of the glass, “You sent me climbing up and down the stairs to heaven for a couple of minutes there.”

He leaned back and raised his arm on the back of the chair. “Really? Wow. Thanks.”

She pointed something on the menu to the waiter. “Why? Never heard that before?”

“Nope. My wife’s never told me that.” He shook his head to the waiter.

“How about the others you’ve fucked? I’m sure one of them has mentioned it.” She drank the rest of the martini.

“I’ve never slept with other women.”

“Oh, really now?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh. So you want me to think that you’re a nice guy?"

“I am nice.”

“What else? Come on, Joel, what else are you?”

“Wha—why don’t you believe me?”

“Come on, I’m not naïve. Men like you don’t stay loyal to their infertile wives.”

“Okay, fine, whatever. Just—just tell me what the test says, okay?”

She smirked, “Sure, boss,” then grabbed the stick from her bag and examined it.

“What? What do you see?”

She looked at him and smiled. “Two strips.”

***

Linda held her big stomach up as she slowly sat down the bench. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth vigorously, not minding her hair hitting her face because of the wind. Her hands tightly gripped her knees, while her eyes got fixated at children running around the park, flying kites, chasing each other, playing with different kinds of balls, laughing and cuddling and eating lunch from baskets with their parents. Eventually, her breathing calmed down, and she leaned her aching back on the bench, securing her hair to the back of her ears. Her mind continued to wander around the park as she stroked her tummy, looking far at people who smiled and laughed and ate endlessly, hearing chuckles and the forceful sway of the leaves as they collided with each other, feeling the damp wind against her skin, the same wind that lifted the colorful kites to the ashen sky.

Sitting beside her was an old woman rocking a baby carriage. She observed Linda, who seemed distressed moments ago.

“Excuse me Miss, are you alright?”

Linda turned to her and replied, “What?”

“You looked like you were in pain a while ago. Are you okay now?”

“Oh yeah, thank you. Thanks,” she said with a smile. She examined her wrinkled face and neck, then noticed her thin, weak arm that slightly swung the carriage back and forth.

“I was worried. I thought you were in labor.”

“Oh no, it’s not gonna come out yet. It’s just seven and a half months.”

“Well, that’s good to know. I’m Susan, by the way.”

“Linda.”

“You shouldn’t be walking around here alone. Do you have anybody with you?”

She looked down. “No. I—I have no one.”

“Oh, but that’s just dangerous. And you should head home now, I think it’s going to rain sooner or later.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna leave in a while. Anyway, I just live across the street. I’m just gonna rest here for a sec. How about you?”

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I have my daughter and my son-in-law over there,” the old woman pointed, “with their son. And their baby girl’s over here.”

“They look pretty happy.” Linda found comfort in watching the three.

“Yes, they are. And whenever I see them like that, I can’t help but imagine my life if I had five children.”

“Well, how many do you have?”

“I only have two. I was supposed to have five, but the two died during pregnancy and the other one during labor.”

“I’m—I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay, the crying days are over. But, you know, I still consider myself lucky.”

“Yeah, you’re lucky to be alive after all of those miscarriages.”

“No, not that. I’m lucky to have my two children. They are the best things that has ever happened in my seventy years of existence.” She looked at Linda, “That is why you should take care of yourself. Children really are blessings in life.”

Linda looked far-away as she continued to stroke her tummy.

“Is that your first baby, Linda?”

“No.”

“Well, do you mind if I ask how many children you have?”

Linda tried to look the old woman in the eye, but she found it hard to do so, and she struggled to search for something to fix her eyes on. “Uhm, I have,” she looked at Susan’s family, “three,” then she looked at Susan, “I have three. This is my fourth.”

“Well, aren’t you lucky?”

A smile was all Linda could reply.

“My two daughters are very grown-up now. They have their own families and houses and all. How about your other three? Where are they? Still studying? Or is one of them already married?”

Linda opened her mouth, but she couldn’t find any word to answer Susan’s question. She looked down, licked her lips, and gathered anything in her mind that she could say. When she finally gained courage to look up to the old woman again, she replied, “They’re in heaven now.”

The old woman got surprised. “Oh. You mean that they’re, uh, in good condition now?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Oh, I see. Well, I should be going now, Linda. Nice talking to you.” The old woman stood up and started to push the carriage forward.

“Yeah, it was nice talking to you, too, Susan.”

“You take care, okay? And make sure you deliver that baby.” Susan waved goodbye and continued to walk away.

“I will. I have to.” After a brief smile, a frown took over Linda’s face as she observed the old woman walk toward her family. Then, she felt something cold plummet to her face. She looked up and saw nothing but a vast array of gray and pale white, then another one hit her nose. She continued to gaze at the smiles and the laughs of the people and their children around the park, not minding that the chilly droplets were all over her already, dousing her hair, even going through the pajama pants and the tee she wore. And it wasn’t long until the smiles and the laughs turned into screams.

***

Linda didn’t know where she was. She tried to open her eyes, but her vision is all blurred. Her eyes got easily distressed by the light that seemed to pass by every second or so. She sensed some sort of shaking, but she knew she was lying on something soft and comforting. Then, a lot of talking started to turn up, upsetting her ears.

“How long was she out?”

“Call her family. Does she have a cell phone with her?”

“This one’s one month premature.”

“It’s gonna be my first cesarean for the month.”

Linda tried to open her mouth, but no words would come out. She even found it hard to breathe.

“She’s up. She’s up”

She fought to open her eyes, struggled to listen to all that she could hear. She wanted to know what’s happening, yet she lacked the strength to keep herself awake and stable. But before everything went black, she saw a face she knew she quite recognized.

***

Linda got awakened by the beep of the heart monitor. When she opened her eyes, she saw a doctor at the end of her bed, holding a clipboard, going through his notes. She looked around a little, and she knew she was in a safe place.

The doctor noticed her, “Miss Linda, you’re awake now.”

She knew right away he was the one she saw before she passed out when she examined his face. Something made her feel that he was someone she’s very familiar with, and his voice made her feel comfortable.

“What happened?”

The doctor moved to her side. “Miss Linda, you passed out in the middle of the rain in the city park early this morning. Why did you let yourself get wet?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I must have dozed off.” She wanted to hear more of his voice.

“You’re lucky someone saw you lying on a bench, all wet. He even took you here to the hospital.”

She smiled at the doctor. She grew fond of his face.

He held her hand. “And you’re even luckier that your baby made it. Congratulations, you have a boy. We delivered him through a cesarean operation.”

She touched her stomach, and there was no bulge anymore. “Really? Where is he?”

“He’s in an incubator right now. He’s one month premature. By the way, someone called. He said his name was Joel Adams. Is he your friend? He said he’s coming over to check on the baby.”

“Yeah, he’s, uhm, a friend of mine.”

“Okay, I’m gonna let you rest first. Then, let’s have more talk later, okay?” Then the doctor headed for the door.

“Wait, what’s your name?” She knew she had to ask.

“Oh, I’m Doctor Ben. Ben Carter,” he replied with a smile.

Suddenly, something rushed into Linda, something she could not explain, but she knew it hit her hard. She tried to remember what was it that made her recognize him while looking at the doctor’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” The doctor got confused by the look upon Linda’s face.

Then, she suddenly found the right words to ask him, “Ben? Is your father’s name Michael?”

“Yes. Yeah, his name is Michael. Michael Carter. How—how did you know? Do you know my father?”

Then, she knew. She knew him. She knew he was one of them. Her face lit up with a profound bliss. She gave out the biggest smile she has ever done.

“Yes, actually. I knew him.”

Linda’s eyes sparkled with tears that came rushing down as she covered her mouth with her hand.

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