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ParchmentPoetry
JANET K POLUDNIAK
United States, NY, Cayuga

Words: 173
Access: Public
Comments: 14

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WEE CHALLENGE #36 - DID YOU HEAR THAT?

At 4:30 AM, I heard, “RATTLE, SWOOSH, CLICK.”

Panic put a knot in my stomach. Straining to listen, I held my breath, considering the options—none were comfortable. Avoiding squeaks, I made my way to Dad's room. “Wake up!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Shhh. Someone’s in the house.”

“You’re dreaming. Go back to bed.”

“If you don’t check, I will. Did you hear that?”

“Stay here.” He flipped on the hall light casting a giant shadow on the wall below. Halfway down, he froze. “Who’s there?”

I watched from the landing, afraid for Dad’s safety.

He reached the bottom, turned on the living room light and saw a man sitting hunched on the couch, frozen. His face was white as the snow he had escaped earlier.

“What are you doing here?”

“I didn’t dare answer; I was afraid you might have a gun.”

Everyone was awake, adrenaline pumping, so after Leonard called my sister for a ride, he told his tale over breakfast. Our laughter broke the tension.

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Comments  
ParchmentPoetry Comment by: ParchmentPoetry - 2008-06-14 06:46
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Thanks, Vickie. Glad you liked it. Janet
vlclasby Comment by: vlclasby - 2008-06-08 06:56
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The first part really had me on edge. Those sounds in the middle of the night are heart-stopping. Poor Leonard - he was wise to be very quiet, or he might have traded a frozen death for an explosive one. Great story, Janet.
ParchmentPoetry Comment by: ParchmentPoetry - 2008-05-31 15:54
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Thanks, Karen. Trust me, it's a lot better. Usually the comments and critiques are helpful. Thanks for commenting. Janet
karjon Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-05-31 15:25
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Nice one, Janet - didn't see the original, but this version works.

Cheers

Karen
ParchmentPoetry Comment by: ParchmentPoetry - 2008-05-26 15:56
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Thanks, Arley. I appreciate your stopping back for a second look after re-construction. MUCH, appreciated. You're an angel, but I promise not to tell anyone. Don't want to spoil your image. hehehehe. Janet
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