The Hips of Anne Bonney (Wee Story 36 Did You Hear That)
172 wds.
_ _ for italics.
Moonlight silvered the masts and coarse, tense rigging of the pirate ship _Trinity_.
Captain Anne Bonney leaned against the railing outside her quarters and Jack Rackham set his hand beside hers. “Anne, kiss me for God's sake.”
Shadows veiled her smile. “Fuck; be quiet. Don't say things like that; If one of my crew sees us- ”
“You would kill them. Or, I would.”
Anne froze. Her hearing reached above water, below Caribbean breeze. There it is again. “Did you- Listen, South by Southwest, you hear it?”
“No. Yes. A sail; it's torn loose and flapping. A large sail, a frigate maybe. It's- “
“_The sound of prey_.” Anne Bonney pushed Jack aside. “Officer Kelly!”
“Captain!”
“Sound battle stations! Make our course dead South!"
“Captain,” Jack whispered. “Your voice makes me weak. Say my name.”
Anne aimed her telescope; a distant blot skimmed shimmering water. “I smell loot and reach for havoc.”
Jack Rackham laughed. “You always say that. And I have to shake my head to stop staring at your hips.”
“_Shut up_.”
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Comment by: BillQ - 2008-09-26 12:16
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the challenge in very short fiction, is finding the slice. where to start? when to end, how much to compress, what to leave out. does it matter that the sunset is orange?
the driving force in your piece is powerful and completely without need of extraneous adjectives. dialogue rules. this rocks.
Thanks for the read. |
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Comment by: LadyMoon Online- 2008-09-16 20:59
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Very flirty. I admire the captains thirst. Loot over love. Or is loot, indeed, her love? Hmmm. Complex, really.
All I want to say is, "Arrg." |
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| Haha, nice. It goes well with your bosom story. I really love this character ... a lot. |
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Comment by: karjon - 2008-05-31 13:22
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Ooooh, it's the sexy captain again. Very good, Tim.
Couple of little things - I think 'railing' would work better as 'the railing'.
“You always say that. And I have to shake my head to stop staring at your hips, Jesus.” - sounds like he's calling her Jesus because of the punctuation. Maybe '...Jesus!' Yes, I did just reccommend an exclamation. Yes, I know.
Thanks for the read.
Cheers
Karen |
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| The sound of prey - loved this. Vivid, fascinating characters. Would love to see more of their adventures. |
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