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Varients of a meme
This soul will always belong to you till time stands all-still
is what they said to me, deep blue eyes with added over-spill
As I gaze into heart of you, as is true: The hue; it is sublime
Erst`e to live my life without this sight would be an awful crime
its like, likening two moons that's to far too, be seen by naked eye
This soul will always belong to you till. Time stands all-still
is what was bled into me, cool deep eyes with added over-spill
sparks twinkling forever linked to slow incoming plasma wave,
with sound now has so many meanings like coupled couplet gave
harmony for ever, calls like bat songs temporal echo in my heart
This soul will always belong to you till time stands all-still
As I gaze into heart of you, as is true: The hue; it is sublime
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Who is/was she?, Erm the essence of you perhaps, Its a reworked triolet cross pantoum...think yo may have seen it before...not so hard to get lost in...
and as you can see the heart became the soul..enjoy cheers for stopping..back to playing with an extended pantoum...
My heart always will belong to you. Till the end of time,
eager I give unto you. As is true, to love is sublime.
To live my life without yours, would be an awful crime.
My heart always, will belong to you till the end of time.
For my life, has now a meaning. like a couplet rhyme.
Togetherness for ever, like rosemary and thyme.
My heart always will belong to you, till the end of time.
Eager I give, unto you as is true to love is sublime. |
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Comment by: Min - 2008-05-30 10:49
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| A curious read. Who is/was she? As per usual you had me lose the plot fairly swiftly. I know I'm woolly headed, but this tangle of words is hard for me to unravel. Liked the soul existing until time stands still. |
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Ah suppose could, rearrange them, and make line 3/4 the feature lines, to be repeated So it reads as below... did think about leaving out punctuation altogether, as there are a few ways of reading/sounding the lines out...cheers for stopping.
When I gaze into heart of you, as is true: The hue; it is sublime
Erst`e to live my life without this sight would be an awful crime
This soul will always belong to you till. Time stands all-still
is what was bled into me, cool deep eyes with added over-spill
its like, likening two moons that's to far too, be seen by naked eye
When I gaze into heart of you, as is true: The hue; it is sublime
Erst`e to live my life without this sight would be an awful crime.
sparks twinkling forever linked to slow incoming plasma wave,
with sound now has so many meanings like coupled couplet gave
harmony for ever, calls like bat songs temporal echo in my heart
When I gaze into heart of you, as is true: The hue; it is sublime
Erst`e to live my life without this sight would be an awful crime |
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hey
the first two lines through me off slightly. it seemed rhythmically out of place with the rhyme, and there needed to be a punctuation break in the first line it seems like.
Afterthat it flows verysmoothly, and it has somereally biliant descriptives. very emotiona. good solid write all together.
peace,
MM |
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