 |
 |
 |
| |
The Muse
The Muse holds her head high, it is mine to find her
for I dispell a lie, of when herself she shows
for I know she waits not, not even the Bard's lows
by me she still is sought, to wait I shaln't endure
I hunt her every day, though I 'oft am not sure
so I say what she is, though I step upon toes
that is why I say this, what it seems noone knows
and so this I shall say, for here her did I lure
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
 |
Comment by: - 2008-06-05 16:37
|
|
| I'm sorry but you lost me half-way through. You should fix the punctuation and refine the rhythm so it flows better. Other than that it was an interesting piece. |
|
|
I had a lot of difficulty making sense of this. The overall concept is great, but the lines seem meshed together.
"The Muse holds her head high, it is mine to find her." Your what? This is the first of many lines that, technically, don't make sense.
I'm not sure if you're trying to emulate a particular style here, but the grammar and punctuation problems take away from the entire piece. Take another read through it, as if you've never read it before, and I'm sure you'll see what I mean.
Love the topic, etc, but I'm just too baffled by the randomness and uncertainty of the lines. Let me know your thoughts on this. |
| 1 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
