Yeah, it’s to be yet another
Lesson in Lonely tonight
He wants to touch me
to show me I’m beautiful
His flawless angel
So big deal
touch me
don’t touch me …
If I just want to share skin
I can touch anybody
anytime I want
Anybody that is
but the one who can truly
Touch me
The one who can
show me who he is with
His eyes.
His truth
His lies ….with …
His soul …

But I guess it’s just really a lesson
in emotional survival
Our little self protective mode…
Or is it ?

Seriously,
what kind of survival is it
when you eat
sleep, talk and walk
the bleak mean streets
of a world overpopulated
with lost humanity
all looking for the same thing
yet finding nothing
but cheap and
Tawdry nights of grimy lace
turning into
cold empty mornings
leaving us still alone and
out of touch
Disconnected
Segregated …

We’re primal tribal hunters
Stealthy in the night searching
With new eyes
New tries and new weapons
in the weathered and ancient game
of Love and War ….
Soul starved scavengers foraging
for that next best thing
consistently ending up
empty handed and
drenched in despair
shrouded in our fear of
loneliness ironically
looking past that which we
may spend our lives seeking
That love filled Holy Grail …
You know, the one we don’t really
want to find
‘Cause after all
rather than that
jewel encrusted treasure
we may find just another
tarnished and dented
carpenter’s cup …..
… and disappointment
is a open wound that heals
oh so slowly …

We’re just so many burnt out street lamps
Losing our way in this darkness …
A veritable forest of lost trees standing
singly on a solitary and fallow acreage
listening to the sounds of our hopes and despair
Quietly and regretfully
falling to the ground around us
the sad stench of our withered loves
lingering in the air …

I didn’t always feel this way
I once felt that commitment
That communion
That conviction
until I realized it was just another
Aberration
of overused dreams
Underused actions and
Anticipations
Just another
Premature
Emotional abortion
of a love that lived only
in my own heart
Holding no real merit
or honesty

And so here I lay
Cheapened after
letting myself
get convinced
that all I needed was that
“human touch”
HIS touch
to wash away these
Broken convictions
and dreams
His winning argument
being that to lose you
Really lose you
I had to give myself
To let him sweep me off my feet
Love me long and complete
Lick me sweet as my flesh was cleansed
with his wet kisses
and demanding greedy lips …

…Oh what a farce ……

Well the deed is done
Worn and tired as a
Three dollar whore
this chapter closes while
I listen to his bloated
Overindulged and
Contented murmurs …

Feeling his lust scented fingers
Brushing my hips
I realize flash fire quickly
That I can lay there forever
in his cold arms
Smiling quietly
Insincerely
And knowing with
Gut wrenching certainty
that while he can spend a lifetime
Gorging himself on my body
Saturating me with
With his needs and
Touching my flesh …
He will never
… truly …
… touch …
… me …

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