 |
 |
 |
| |
Deja vu
This has happened before, i remember.
I have been here with you ,in this secluded place.
Were i can hear you breath.
I can feel on my cold face, your soft and warm breath .
I heard the shortness of your breath
The stiffness of your erect body ,when our bodies became one.
I have been here before, now i remember.
What i don't remember is opening a vault which released a sea of tears.
I dont remember crushing your heart to bits of sand.
but i remember waking up with you in my arms and i dissappeared before the morning came .
Now you walk a ghost , your soul stolen.
Your heart is a solid stone
Your veins dried up your blood turned to sand.
You dont want any one to touch you.
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
| I instantly feel your anguish, which is so hard to do in such a short piece. This is beautifully written. Very nice. |
 |
Comment by: MsWizard Online- 2008-06-04 07:39
|
|
J, the first line is far too long (in my opinion anyway) but out side of that, and a few typos, this is glorious. I agree with pitbull....the lines ~
"What i dont remember is opening a vault which released a sea of tears
i dont remember crushing your heart to bits of sand."
are just lovely.....thank you for posting this one....it's sweetly shrouded in sadness and beauty.... |
|
|
| Very touching poem about a lover who has passed on? Very effective imagery. Couple of minor typos though (first line beath instead of breath). |
 |
Comment by: pitbull - 2008-06-04 03:06
|
|
I love it,especially the part "What i dont remember is opening a vault which released a sea of tears
i dont remember crushing your heart to bits of sand." and "Now you walk a ghost , your soul stolen "Now you walk a ghost , your soul stolen" it makes me feel your pain...oh its sad yet so nicely written :) |
| 1 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
