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Earth-bound
Alien Poetry Challenge #17. Read between the lines.
We are floating ABOVE
the GROUND, like
Pale stars, WE are
burning. We ARE churning
with THE light
of the FRAGILE new moon.
We MOAN,
aware OF how far
we are from THE
EARTH. How far we are from
existence. AS rainfall
gently tumbles, WE struggle
and we FIGHT to not drip away.
A soft hymn FOR humanity, we sing
as THE torrents wash
away their chance at FREEDOM.
A melody THAT is
ALWAYS too soft to be
heard, it SEEMS.
We try to sing SO much louder,
but we are never CLOSE enough.
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| creative and genuine. stands out amongst the other poems as different. well done...m |
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Comment by: Arley - 2008-06-12 07:20
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| Very nice work, Lindsay, and like Phil, I love the doubling. Shame you had to exceed the line limit to do it. |
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Comment by: alien - 2008-06-07 07:24
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There's a 10 line limit to the contest, so this can't be included, I'm afraid.
I actually love this poem and the atmosphere it creates. I can't find fault with it at all. It's a beautiful piece. Really. But it's not 10 lines or fewer. So sorry! :( |
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| This is really great. I don't want to on basic principle, but I have to echo everything that Phil and Mick said. Thanks for sharing. |
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Comment by: Mick - 2008-06-05 02:45
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| Great piece within a piece. cool Poem. :) |
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