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kylalynn
Kyla Ward
United States, Missouri, St. Joseph

Words: 117
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Fear of Flying (Revised)

I was always afraid of flying.  Not in an airplane, per se, but flying as the birds do: to soar above, face to the wind, and really see what there is to see, all from my view at the top.  Throughout my life there have been days that I thought I may jump off the proverbial cliff, certain that I would fall to my death, and those were the days in which I would have never ventured that close.  But today--today was different.  As I perched on the top of the chain-link fence separating me from river and rocks, swallows circled perilously, quickly, sing-song in the fading light; and today--today was different.

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Comments  
horisburke Comment by: horisburke - 2008-06-14 06:51
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Interesting ideas... Here's another good outlet for writers http://www.whiteprose.com.
AriadnePresident Comment by: AriadnePresident - 2008-06-07 14:39
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To me, it seems like a very dark, sinister, and a very brooding kind of story if you ask me. Keep up the good work! :)
crows Comment by: crows - 2008-06-05 21:07
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Heidi's word 'ominous' is perfect here! A delicious little flash... my only criticism to which would be ... I think you overuse the period slightly as punctuation, which causes the piece to read a little fragmented. I don't think it would require any wording changes, maybe swap some periods out for commas or semicolons.

Cheers!
troyarn Comment by: troyarn - 2008-06-05 16:14
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Vivid! I actually gasped in the end! Very good stuff here, Kyla. I truly enjoyed this read.
heidiheimler Comment by: heidiheimler - 2008-06-05 14:28
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Ominous and foreboding. I felt as if a dark cloud was moving in as I read. Very effective!
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