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Passion's Path
It was love at first night. Ben had ended a fourteen year relationship six months before. Anna was divorced for six months. During those months, a mutual friend repeatedly encouraged them to date each other. Finally, Ben called and they agreed on a dinner date.
When Anna opened the door, both liked what they saw. After a dinner at a small chic restaurant, two bottles of wine, and a long conversation, they were back at her apartment, passionately kissing on the couch.
“I’ll bet you are an intense lover,” Anna whispered.
After a brief, thoughtful moment, Ben replied: “I can be.”
A barrier was breached, six celibate months surrendered.
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Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-06-24 13:50
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And six seconds later, it was all over - hehe.
Nice tale of passion's release, Phil.
Thanks for the read.
Cheers
Karen |
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I feel there is a moment missed here, somewhere between "I can be" and the surrender...the anxiety, thrill, fear of those new and unfamiliar hands.
Where is the trepidation of the first step into the wide Sargasso Sea of "Now".
I love the pithiness of the piece but feel as though there is an element missing ... a gap before resolution ... one line.
HRH QM |
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Comment by: acid43 - 2008-06-14 09:43
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| I feel this is a great story it really shows how life can change so fast. In six months time they both whent from ending one chapter of there life, to begining a new chapter. i see these characters in there mid fourties, still enough time to start there lives over. Just like in life six months is half a year you still have the other half of that year to make it memorable. I really enjoyed this phil. |
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| I agree with WLC I loved that first line and I love the flow of the last line. Good stuff. |
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nice one Phil. I am a sucker for romances invloving older (at least in my mind) characters. There is something that tugs at the heart more that way, especially knowing they have come out of marriage. And the pain is transferred nicely into, well, sexual energy in the second half. Simple, but had everything I need in a story. After 6 months, they both really need this, and i was cheering for them.
Just need a comma here:
“I’ll bet you are an intense lover(,)” Anna whispered. |
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