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Passion's Path
Shelly tried avoiding the upcroppings of large rocks in the middle of the gully-washed dirt road she traveled weekly. Weaving back and forth, avoiding puncturing a tire, caused her unbelievable stress. She searched the darkness for Steven's familiar form.
She spotted him creeping down the path to their secret meeting place. She pulled her car over to pick him up. After adjusting the seat, he slid down to hide.
“Johnny's late from work again. I hope he doesn’t come home before I do.”
“Calm down. I love you more than John.”
As she drove towards their designated hideout, a familiar SUV headed towards them.”
Shelly’s husband passed; both drivers were blinded by the bright headlights. A younger woman crouched in Johnny's passenger seat.
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Comment by: karjon - 2008-06-27 04:29
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Yep - well done, Janyce, I reckon that clears up any confusion.
Cheers
karen |
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Comment by: karjon - 2008-06-25 05:28
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I love the idea here, Janyce - both of them up to the same games and both lovers hiding in the same way. I'm just a wee bit confused as to where everyone is going.
She seems to be driving to her own house, her lover is coming down the path to her house for her to pick him up and then drive - somewhere else. Her husband passes her - going away from the house?
I suppose I'm struggling with the idea of them both being so close to home with their secret lovers.
I see what Arley means about 'how does she know her husband's lover is crouching in the passenger seat?'. The whole story is in Shelly's pov, so that last line either switches pov, or Shelly has to have seen the lover. I actually like the idea of her seeing her husband's lover, though - that could lead onto a much bigger story.
But, my confusion and specific places aside (and it's probably not that important), it's a good wee story. Thanks for the read.
Cheers
Karen |
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Comment by: WLC - 2008-06-10 10:03
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You get my first Ahhhh! for the day!
Love the line, "Don't worry. I love you more than him."---classic excuse!
In par. #5 I wonder if your first "towards" should be "toward" (I always struggle with that (?)
Fun story. |
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| I'm sorry, but I am still confused. Shelly says "I hope he doesn’t come home before I do.” Then he passes in the direction, I assume, away from the house. Would she risk going to the house knowing that her husband could be close behind? Talk about a quickie! Now, if this a going to be a 4-way, and whoever gets to the cottage first calls the shots, then this makes a bit more sense, but I doubt that anyone would take the chance of going to a house knowing there is the slightest possibility of running into a spouse. |
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| Oh dear!!! sounds exciting... mmmmm secret lovers... secret meetings ... mmmm delightful!!!... I don't think that Shelly knew that her beloved was having an affair...which makes it sooo juicy... |
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