Some Thoughts on Trust and Keeping Secrets


We're all untrustworthy in one way or another. Not worthy of trust ourselves, by definition of the word itself.

If we can't give it, how can we have it?

To me, a person who keeps secrets and holds back information is less trustworthy than someone who brings things out in the open.

Nothing is resolved or healed until it is brought out into the 'light' of awareness. It has to come to the surface. Where it can be looked at, worked on, accepted.

Keeping secrets is no better that burying and repressing emotions or lying. It keeps the problem and suffering going on indefinitely for all involved. You have to live in constant fear of your secret being found out as well. Using lies and other deceptive tactics to cover your tracks. How noble!

You may be trusted by one or a few friends, but you are UNTRUSTWORTHY to the rest of existence. To the rest of the world, the rest of the universe.

You are only thinking of yourself. Protecting yourself, your 'face', your pride, your property. (ex. Your friends, family, belongings, relationships, job, social identity, image, etc)

It's still ego, it's still self centered and self serving and only for the good of yourself.

You don't even know what's in the best interest of you or the person you're keeping the secret for. You don't know what's in the best interest of the rest of the world.

You just fear your secret getting out and how people will see you.

Will you be embarrassed? Will they all abandon you, judge you, see you differently? Will you lose your friend and whatever GAINS they provide you with.

That's right, don't get it twisted, friendship is selfishness too. You are both using the other one for something or other. That's why you're so afraid to lose it... you'd feel incomplete.. no longer getting that 'fix', energy, resources, needs filled, desires filled, release, etc. It'd be like a piece of yourself dieing. But... you are still only thinking of yourself.

Yes you might cause a friend pain by telling their secret.. but what are you ultimately worried about?? LOSING THEM AS A FRIEND, feeling bad for hurting them, being seen as an untrustworthy person or bad friend, not making anymore friends, being abandoned and left all alone, being lonely, feeling like a loser, etc.

YOU ARE STILL ONLY THINKING OF YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS AND PRIDE... and not losing something that's 'yours'.... 'my' friends, 'my' family, etc.

There is no nobility in keeping your secrets or anyone else's. You're just protecting yourself, fearing vulnerability, fearing pain and loss. Putting yourself above and before the rest of existence.

I had to become as untrustworthy as possible to Silver. Just to admit that I'm untrustworthy period. No matter how noble I pretended and tried to be. I was just in denial like everyone else.

One distrusting thought, one untrustworthy act, one secret, one time holding back information and leaving out details, and one lie is all it takes really.

And unless I'm 100% TRUSTING towards others, myself, the world... how can I be 100% trustworthy?

I can't be. Not while there is still an ego operating. Not while self gain and self protection are the main themes and motivations. Not while fear of loss is still present. Not while fear of heart break is still a possibility.

I can say it. I am that too. That person, that behavior. It's out in the open now.

I am distrustful and untrustworthy. That's all, no biggie. Just had to accept it to overcome it. Love it unconditionally as well. As another aspect of my Self. No trait is unlovable.

In conclusion:

Keeping others secrets and your own is not noble and doesn't make us trustworthy. Its another trick of the mind. Just inflates our ego's. “Look mommy, I'm a good person. Everybody can trust me!”

It's self serving... we're still just trying to protect ourselves out of fear of losing something. Whether it's a friend, respect, pride, or whatever.

Do yourself a favor and STOP KIDDING YOURSELF!

Want to comment on this Blogs? Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Blogs and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...