Take one Puck and griddle the Earth, mid-simmer for forty minutes, with acorns to taste.
Add a pound of flesh; take arms - end them, use every man after his dessert, without waste.
Insert your Guildenstern and your Rosencrantz heads first, as you must.
Ingrate a little Lear of Corn., preferably wind-blown from the heath, for the crust.
Sieve a freshly-blooded Montague and a young Capulet into the mix, checking expiry dates.
Blend in, if you can, one ripe Caliban with water and berries, or, if unavailable, a Trinculo or Stephano (Caliban's 'mates').
If the flavour seems somewhat sweet to you, a pinch moor of handkerchief can be folded in.
Dust nightly with a spot of Lady M. to garnish, or cheat by using leaves from Dunsinane.
Serve i' th' heat, accompanied with Caesar salad, Dogberry sauce, and I pray you watch
How a rich and full-bodied Malmsey will accompany this nicely, but don't serve with Scotch.
