There isn't any pride in creation
now that it's been going
unwelcome, dismissed
like a door shutting
where it's open always.

So creating is dispassionate
When I used to love
since I felt so much
for the creations, the images,
I thought the passion
was the big ingredient,
the artist, master
everything's king
for whom it's all done for.

Not the case.
As I zombie towards the light
and the end,
without the passion
mashed away
just mutilated
by disappointment,
and nobody-ness,
and tragedy and things..
just things that
have also been
done to death and
long washed passion's
way.

So, not the case
as Im here already dead
the creating the art
the doing...
the endeavor has
never altered course
nor slowed down
for my bleeding.

The creating that
at some young time
I thought was about me
under me,
was always the king
just smothered
but disinterested.
Not hiding
real driver's identity
never a farther reach
than my growing humility.

It's not art.
It's not about me.
It's some unconcerned reality
I just keep throwing the sheets over the ghost,.
The purpose
or the designer
or whatever it be
long since has bothered even humoring me

keeps on going. and now
I'm one with the thing unfolding
the creating doesn't care
it doesn't mater.

So when I say
that this view or that view
is way Mozart.
Is Da Vinci and more
is interesting because
nobody remembers
any human miracles
evolutionary surprises
its been so long
that it's all just mythology
anymore. Life has died
love and god
souls are dying
because we are
starving for miracles.

So when I say these things
mix up a bunch of disgust
about how arrogant and
high on myself I must be.
Dismiss the art or the thoughts

or what I tell you.
It probably doesn't matter
if you waste your time or not
doesn't matter to me either
I'm a million heartbreaks
a million let downs
a million dismissals
a million times disregarded
past caring,
past hope past joy.
The uncovering of depths
and methods
whatever it is
for what,
no doubt it won't
but serve me worse
and worse
until it serves me not.

DE

Want to comment on this Poetry? Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...