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Shedding
I suppress thunderous wails drawn forth by a red moon. I've left a child behind, I've abandoned him to the battered streets of his soul, to stare at a still studio's ceiling. I closed the door quietly behind me, and in screeching pain, he has forsaken it.
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| all i can say is wow....wish it was a tad longer though, i sensed such raw emotion and intensity, ...surely there's much more left in the bottle...though, the simplicity and shortness of it was genius in itself, i'd say this work feels a bit like a short angst rollercoaster off a very steep cliff...can't wait to read more |
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Shirine, your work lacks soul and is defined only by the terms of your need to be different rather than the situation or the people producing the difference. Show the flowers of your youth through what is true to you not what you think should be true to art. I hope this helps.
Isabella x |
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I like it, but red is such a standard color. How about a different shade of red just to capture the reader's imagination???
;-) |
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