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LouiseKay
Kirsten Locke
United States, Oregon, Vernonia

Words: 200
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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Bullseye Moment

Max could feel the eyes upon him. Deep within the eldritch wood, they watched. Rifle held at the ready, he kept his senses open for the ambush he knew would come.

Treading as cautiously as he could, his clumsy feet still betrayed him with every twig snap. He knew that the enemy knew he was there. How could they not? He was too much of a novice to last.

Pop!

It had begun. He was doomed.

Pop! Pop! Pop!

They’d gotten him. He could feel the tiny welts as he raised his arms in defeat. With heavy steps, he held his gun over his head and walked back down the trail from which he’d just come.

Melanie and Seth were waiting at base camp. He joined his fellow corpses.

“Hey, Maxi, you lasted longer this time.” Seth was all grins through his freckles. Melanie offered a bottle of water. Max took it gratefully, his own lopsided smile breaking through the gloom of his latest defeat.

There were chips and cookies and jerky. He plunged into the feast as the three friends waited for more walking dead to join them. Max had truly joined the legions of Airsoft warriors.

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Comments  
safi Comment by: safi - 2008-09-03 13:54
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Nice. But what are you trying to do with it?
safi Comment by: safi - 2008-09-03 13:54
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Nice. But what are you trying to do with it?
Koinonia Comment by: Koinonia - 2008-06-24 08:02
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It's great how you build up tension then break it so suddenly I'm almost laughing at myself for being so silly! This is a good piece.
catchwavesurf Comment by: catchwavesurf - 2008-06-18 10:45
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I love how suspenseful it is in the beginning. I was so worried about him at first. It's such a relief at the end. I liked it!
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By LouiseKay

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