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Comment by: champagne Online- 2008-07-06 21:19
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| Hi June, I was waiting for someone to pick up on the Tommy Chong reference and it's because of the autobiography I Chong (riffing off the I Ching) and the strawberries were handpicked by the mom of a young woman struggling to save a leg at the same time the fight for the arm was going on. She picked them expressly because of the excellent anti-oxidant value of the vitamin C in organic strawberries. So, conciously... Thanks to all who continue to draw something from this poem. |
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The subtle pathos you managed to induce in these few lines. I can just say I'm choked. Only one thing : conciously?
My best,
June. |
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Comment by: alien - 2008-07-02 05:19
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| What I didn't really express in my first comment was that poetry that uses minute detail in this way really appeals to me. |
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Comment by: alien - 2008-07-02 05:18
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I got this poem straight off but I'd interpreted it as a leg, not an arm. No matter.
What I did like was the way you used a really minute detail as the start; something that seems totally banal yet in learning that this was abut the loss of an arm, that detail suddenly becomes monumental as it's something the subject won't be able to do again!
Well done on a great piece of poetry. |
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| Another beautiful poem from you. I have come to read you in the way that somehow, I understand your sensitivity to those who are around you, who suffer. I was wondering if it was an arm, or leg, where th line was drawn. Whether you change it to include explanation or not, the meaning remains the same, doesn't it? Personally, I wouldn't change a thing. It is perfect. |
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