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Deepbluejc
Jennifer M
United States, Texas, Borger

Words: 296
Access: Public
Comments: 1

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Unnoticed Part 4 (final)

This was the day; he felt it threw his bones. He would volunteer to collect carts and when she unloaded her groceries he would be there to lend a helping hand. She just didn't know how much she needed him; he would show her.

Arriving at work at 10 in the morning he went about his usual day, stocking shampoo, cleaning the toy aisle and helping customers find the necessities on their lists. The minutes ticked at a torturous pace as he anticipated their meeting. He prepared himself mentally for their first date going over lines of conversation starters to break the ice.

Noon rolled around and he felt his stomach doing somersaults, any time now the automatic doors would announce her arrival. One o'clock came and went with no sign of his love. At two his manager forced him to take lunch. This gave him the opportunity to drive by her house; maybe she was in trouble.

The simple one-story white house was surrounded by cars as he pulled around the corner, making his heart leap to his throat. A woman wearing a navy suit exited the house shaking her head.

"Excuse me," he called, rolling down the passenger side window as she approached. "Hi, sorry to bother you but I'm lost and need to deliver a package to the Morris'. Is this their house?"

"No, I'm sorry it isn't."

"Oh man," he said running his hands through is hair, "Thanks anyway, looks like a party in there."

"Just the opposite I'm afraid, the woman who lived there died in a car wreck last week... sir are you ok? You've gotten very pale, did you know her?"

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Comments  
heidiheimler Comment by: heidiheimler - 2008-06-25 04:01
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I liked this story. You did a great job describing the main character - I really felt for the poor guy.

One tiny suggestion:
"Excuse me," he called, rolling down the passenger side window as she approached. "Hi, sorry to bother you but I'm lost and need to deliver a package to the Morris'. Is this their house?"
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By Deepbluejc

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