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Fengshen
Fengshen came today.
The God of Wind brought only rain,
a message. A ghost found me.
Dreams of snakes and teeth being pulled;
those of earthquakes gone.
“A change gonna come,”
they told me.
A change gonna find me.
A bed of adders,
poison incisors.
A plane drifting my way,
containing a body,
that will never touch me again.
“The times are a-changing,”
he said.
Time is gonna change me.
Alone in my perfect prison,
I realised,
I got what I wished for.
I was only a God
promising wind and bringing rain.
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Comment by: alien - 2008-07-02 05:34
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I love the way it's constructed.
Whenever I read your work, I get a feeling of a lonely, tragic beauty trapped in a garret room and drifting on a tide of grief that feeds you and drains you at the same time.
This poem is a real manifestation of that - you're reflecting your surroundings, current events, your past, your present and your future and it's so sad but it's so beautiful.
I could have cried when I'd finished reading this. |
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Comment by: champagne Online- 2008-06-28 08:14
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Well, talk about the winds of change. It has been a devasting year for the Chinese people and you show us the disasters right off the mark. I'm not sure about your "Snakes On A Plane" reference, it draws away from the weight of the tragedies you're describing, but, as you say, Dylan, Sam Cooke, an earthquake and a typhoon must really shape a poem a little differently.
Excellent work. Thanks for giving your poem to us. |
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Comment by: crows - 2008-06-27 10:21
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| This is a stunning piece. I love the contrast between the formal feel of some of the stanzas, and the informal dialog in others; the change between them really throws it into three dimensions. It definitely has two sides, one being dreamlike and foreign to me, like another world, and the other seeming to relate to experiences right next to my heart. |
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Comment by: alien - 2008-06-25 09:58
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| are you entering this in challenge 18? |
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hey, thanks, man.
glad you used the term "mind boggling" coz that's kinda how i feel at the moment and when I wrote it.
the name "fengshen" is the name of the Typhoon that just passed through where i am living (and was in the Philippines a few days ago). so things have been a bit dark lately and this is what came out of me. throw in some Sam Cooke and Bob Dylan with some bad weather, and this is what ya get.
thanks again :) |
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