It’s 3 am. Three ay-flippin’-em and I’m still going. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking just stop you idiot. But it’s not as easy as that. I was cursed you see, by this old witch. So even though my head’s spinnin’ and I’m getting cramp I can’t stop.

See it all started one day when I was comin’ home with some flowers for the missus. Just walkin’ along with these daisies or whatever they were, I mean I dunno I just know she likes ‘em pink. So I’m walkin’ and this old bat comes up to me and she’s goin’ on about a cat and a tree and a ladder and I’m like “I’m sorry I can’t help yer, I’ve gotta get these back before they go all floppy.” The flowers I mean, but she keeps goin’ on and won’t let it go. So eventually I’m like “Look love I’m busy, get lost!” So I starts walkin’ away and she shouts at me “You help me or I’ll curse you!”

I mean come on, twenty-first century and someone threatens to curse you, well what would you do? I just kept walkin’ and she shouted some stuff at me, I dunno what it was ‘neambertol’ or somethin’, and then she goes “I curse you to be a writer.”

Well I nearly went back just to laugh at her. A writer! What kind of a curse is that? I curse you to sit on your backside and scribble a few words now and then! That’s all writers do i’nt it!

How was I supposed to know?

So here I am, three in the mornin’, cramp all the way up my hand but I’m not stoppin’. If I keep goin’ long enough, maybe the ideas will stop and I’ll finally be able to sleep.

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