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alien
cheryl marren
United Kingdom, 11h56m44s +50° 36'40"

Words: 128
Access: Public
Comments: 9

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The Mermaid

I am delirious,
bound by the spell of the sea
as it swells and swirls. She’s rising
from the water into my open arms,
clinging to me like final hope.
Her coral lips taste my kiss,
eyes flashing moon’s reflection,
edged with darkness.

Her voice dances
on sea breeze whispering
my name like sweet damnation.
Waves wash around my waiting feet,
beckoning, pulling, enticing me
with cool, inconstant certainty.
Faces form in the foam and fish float
below, eyes like forgotten futures.

Absorbed by the touch of her icy flesh,
her flowing hair adorned with showers
of sparkling sea-spray, my wishes
come true in the curve of her hips
and I’m falling, drowning, dying -
I expire in her embrace.


The Mermaid by Howard Pyle

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Comments  
MitchellNoel Comment by: MitchellNoel - 2008-07-07 00:03
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Sorry I didn't spot this "example" earlier. When we see the word "example", we usually expect some simple, generic poem...but not here.

As if the picture wasn't beautiful enough, the poem is just breathtaking. It's fresh, it's crisp, it's love, it's death.

It's all about the beautiful language...swirling, swelling, coral lips, sea-spray, ice, body parts, fish...ARGHH it's beyond beautiful and I think all the comments confirm this. I'm so blown away I really can't comment clearly. Needless to say there is not a word out of place!

Can we vote for you to win this one?
inverted alchemy Comment by: inverted alchemy - 2008-07-03 16:12
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Dark finale in 'I expire in her embrace'.
There is something of the tragic in you.

"my wishes
come true in the curve of her hips
and I’m falling, drowning, dying
just to love her."
For some reason, I have a huge problem with this line, maybe its the cross applicability to life in general.
Tasteful write.
Happy writing.
junenandy Comment by: junenandy - 2008-07-03 07:36
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This was no less than a classical symphony. The consuming experience of Love and surrender. Very deft work.

'Inconstant certainty','eyes like forgotten futures' excited me with felicity.

Thanks.
June.
nevergetfooled Comment by: nevergetfooled - 2008-07-03 06:54
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This flows so wonderfully! Enjambment has ever been my downfall, so I'm always doubly impressed when I see someone who can use it so seamlessly. :D The imagery is likewise wonderful.. I can't think of a thing that would improve this. Beautiful job! <3
Arley Comment by: Arley - 2008-07-03 04:50
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Amazing! All I can say, I'm speechless!!
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By alien

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