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The Pawnshop (#39)
The pawnshop was closed and the old couple who owned it were long asleep upstairs. Someone stood outside the street door. He reached up and disconnected the alarm, then slipped a thin bar behind the door-bolt and broke the lock. This act closed a circuit that set another system on alert, although the thief did not know of it.
Moving quickly through the shop to the cash register, he punched a button and the drawer slid open, exposing a few bills and coins. As the drawer opened, another switch was thrown. Overhead, in the shadows, a wooden mallet on a cantilever arm came straight down and smashed into the thief’s head. Instantly, a trap-door opened and the body dropped through, falling into an industrial compactor. The machine made whistling sounds as steam-powered pistons hammered and shaped, pounding, unstoppable. In the morning, a square and lumpy plastic bundle would be ready for the trash man.
The old couple upstairs would not know of the disturbance until finding, on awakening, that the shop needed a new lock.
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Comment by: alcarty - 2008-07-16 12:25
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| Karl, I am glad someone paid attention during English class. I was dreaming, doodling, or jotting down nasty notes that I would expand into childish stories in Typing class. Thanks for the tips, and I shall incorporate them. |
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This was a fun romp. I imagine something like this in Mad Magazine :-)
Small issues:
"...cash register he punched a button..." [comma needed after "register"]
"As the drawer opened another switch was thrown." [comma needed after "opened"]
"Instantly a trap-door opened..." [comma needed after "Instantly"]
"...industrial compacter; the machine made..." ["compactor" is mispelled. The semicolon should probably be a period]
"In the morning a square, and slightly lumpy..." [comma needed after "morning." Consider dropping "and slightly"]
"The old couple upstairs would not know of the disturbance until finding, on awakening, that the shop needed a new lock." [excellent punch line] |
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Comment by: alcarty - 2008-07-08 17:48
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| Lorna, I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading. |
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| last line is perfection. |
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Comment by: alcarty - 2008-07-03 15:20
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| I'm glad you liked it, Phil. These little challenges lead us into the most unlikely stories. I guess that's why they're so much fun to try. Thanks. |
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