Sure, Mom! I'll take seconds on the brussel sprouts! What kid can resist dietary fiber? And of course we can all afford another helping, because, although my mom stays at home and cleans and all my dad does is read the paper and give insightful fatherly advice, we have more money than we know what do do with! Why is that, mister Announcer Man, sir?

Well, Suzy, that's because your parents are in a special group.

Like a secret club? With a tree house and everything? And no icky boys to spoil the fun?

Oh, no, Suzy. There are plenty of boys. And this group is way more special than any tea-party, girls-only club. It's called the Mafia. Can you say "Mafia", Suzy?

Mah-fee-uh?

Good. The Mafia, otherwise known as the Clan or the Family, is a secret group of people responsible for everything that the city is oblivious to.

What's an abivimus?

Oblivious. It means they don't know. Just like Mafia means "a secret criminal organisation." All of the bad things that happen are your Mommy and Daddy's fault.

Nuh uh! We're good people! We don't do all that bad stuff! That was make us meanie heads!

Do you pay taxes?

Taxes?

That's what I thought. The mafia steals money from other people and uses it for themselves. They do bad things, like cheat and lie, and sometimes even kill people!

Kill people? Nuh-uh!

Yes huh, Suzy. People end up in the rivers wearing concrete boots for knowing too much. They could say they're going swimming, and never be seen again.

I always wondered where Uncle Vinny went...and why Daddy got home from Florida so early.

And the Mafia sometimes sells cocaine and other drugs, only under prettier names. For instance: Devil's dandruff, sugar boogies, nose candy, pixie powder, blow, baker's flour, crystal cookie, buzzy bean, you get it.

I like cookies. Are they chocolate chip?

Look, kid. The point is, you have to get away-

Hey! Who the fuck are you and why are you in my house? Get away from my daughter! Choke'em, Paulie! What did he tell you, Suzy?

Daddy...?

WHAT DID THE BAD MAN TELL YOU?!

C-concrete b-b-boots... F-family... taxes... n-n-nose c-candy...

Look, I'm sorry, Suzy, but I have to do this. You know too much. You'll understand, won't you?

Daddy, what are you-

...

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